Vampire Academy Revealed
by AlinaNycole
Summary: Lissa & Rose have settled into their comparatively quiet new lives as Queen and Head of the Royal Guard, but once again an unknown danger lurks. When Lissa is sent a series of books that reveal Rose's heart and mind, they must band together with their most trusted friends and allies to confront an unseen enemy that threatens not only them, but their entire world. Reviews welcome.
1. Chapter 1

My sleep is very important to me. Considering the fact that I spend almost every waking moment babysitting full-grown adults, the amount of me-time I get is pretty limited, so I cherish every second. And sleep is the ultimate me-time. You'd think after listening to me bitch about sleep since he first met me, Dimitri would get that.

And yet, here he was, shaking me and repeating my name while some God-awful song blasted away to my right. Figures. I finally make it to my one day a week off, and I manage to sleep in…I squinted at the alarm clock on my bedside table…a whole ten minutes. I rolled over and tried to ignore the world and drift back to sleep.

Suddenly, my mind cleared and I sat straight up in bed. That God-awful song was my ringtone for Lissa: 'God Save the Queen'. Corny, I know, but it started out as a joke, and everyone found it so annoying that I had no choice but to keep it.

As I answered the phone, Dimitri got up and went to the kitchen. The apartment we lived in was small, but it was close to the castle and despite the scandalized looks and whispers that we dealt with, I shared it with the man I love. Who could ask more than that?

As soon as I answered, Lissa's voice came over, sounding hesitant and a little fearful. "Rose?"

I jumped out of bed and headed for the dresser, trying to walk, pull my nightshirt over my head, and hold the phone to my ear all at once. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said hurriedly. "Well, I'm not in any kind of danger. There's just something I need you to see."

"Okay," I responded, feeling both curious and relieved. She knew how much I worried about her, and that worry had increased after we lost the bond. I knew that guardians are protective and deadly, just as I knew that as Queen, Lissa was constantly surrounded by the best. But a part of me couldn't help but feel that no one would ever be able to protect her like I could. My mind flashed back to the 'field experience' at St. Vlads, when my instructors had forced me to guard Christian. They had told me then that I needed to learn to protect someone I didn't have a bond with, and these last few months had proven to me just how wise they had been.

Bond or no, I could still tell that despite her words, she was troubled. She may not be in physical danger, but something was definitely wrong. "I can be there in an hour," I told her as I searched my dresser for something to wear.

"Can you bring Dimitri?" she asked. "It's something that concerns him, too."

"Sure. See you soon, Liss."

Dimitri handed me a glass of water as I told him "Her Royal Highness has summoned us," in my most pompous voice.

He flashed me an exasperated grin as he headed to the bathroom. "Roza, perhaps you should learn to treat that title with a little respect. After all, she _is_ Her Royal Highness."

I smiled broadly at him. "I don't have to respect the title, comrade. It belongs to my best friend. Who, by the way, is the one person not in this room I respect most. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a shower to take."

Forty minutes later, Dimitri and I reached the royal suite. The guardians at the door grinned at me. I don't think I ever actually managed to have an entire day off without seeing Lissa at some point, and they let us in without hesitation.

Inside, Christian and Lissa looked up from a book that Lissa was holding. Weird. Christian usually wanted nothing to do with the kinds of books Lissa liked to read.

Queen Vasilisa Dragomir, ruler of the world's Moroi and dhampirs, jumped from her seat and rushed into my arms, trembling.

"Shh," I soothed, trying my best to figure out why she needed comfort, "Shh, Liss, it's okay. I'm here. Everything will be fine."

After a couple minutes, she managed to pull herself together somewhat. When she pulled back from my arms, I saw unshed tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. She wiped them away with the back of her hand and sighed.

"Rose, we have something to show you. Both of you," she amended, looking at Dimitri. "I don't know what to make of it. It's, it's impossible…"

Christian spoke gently from his seat, looking as if he had seen a ghost. "It'll be easier to just show them. Can you guys come have a seat?"

I looked at Christian, and thought as I had so many times in the last couple years that I had lost count, how glad I was that the two of them had each other. When they had first started showing interest in each other I had been furious. She had deserved so much better than Christian Ozera. Now I realized, probably for the first time, that she deserved exactly him, and more importantly, _he _deserved _her._ I was her rock, the one person she had always been able to count on, but she could count on him too. So could I. This man had been as essential to saving Dimitri as Lissa had been. He had managed to keep me from killing Dimitri and at the same time protect Lissa as she saved him. Now I gave him a warm smile as I remembered all the times he had been there, taking care of others: Lissa's capture by Victor, our kidnapping in Spokane, the Strigoi attack at the Academy, and the restoration of Dimitri's soul. None of those would have been possible without him. And, with a small shock, I realized I loved him. Not that I'd ever be interested in him romantically, eww, but he was almost as much a brother to me as Lissa was a sister.

So we sat down to what would be the most shocking ordeal of our lifetimes, and considering what we had done and seen, that was saying something.

Lissa picked up the book, Christian's arm firmly around her waist. "Vampire Academy," she read from the cover, "By Richelle Mead."

**Chapter 1**

**I felt her fear before I heard her screams.**

**Her nightmare pulsed into me, shaking me out of my own dream, which had had something to do with a beach and some hot guy rubbing suntan oil on me. Images—hers not mine—tumbled through my mind: fire and blood. The smell of smoke, the twisted metal of a car. The pictures wrapped around me, suffocating me, until some rational part of my brain reminded me that this wasn't **_**my**_** dream.**

**I woke up, strands of long, dark hair sticking to my forehead. Lissa lay in her bed, thrashing and screaming. I bolted out of mine, quickly crossing the few feet that separated us.**

"Wait a minute," I interrupted. "What the hell is this?" I'm sure my shock was written all over my face.

Dimitri looked confused. "What do you mean? So one of the characters shares your name, Lissa, I'm sure this is just coincidence."

Lissa locked eyes with me as realization hit me.

"No," I said slowly, "It's not. That book isn't just a story, is it Liss?"

Christian spoke up. "Lissa, keep reading. He'll figure it out."

So she did.

"**Liss," I said, shaking her. "Liss, wake up."**

**Her screams dropped off, replaced by oft whimpers. "Andre," she moaned. "Oh God."**

**I helped her sit up. "Liss, you aren't there anymore. Wake up."**

**After a few moments, her eyes fluttered open, and in the dim lighting, I could see a flicker of consciousness start to take over. Her frantic breathing slowed, and she leaned into me, resting her head against my shoulder. I put an arm around her and ran a hand over her hair.**

"**It's okay," I told her gently. "Everything's okay."**

"**I had that dream."**

"**Yeah, I know."**

**We sat like that for several minutes, not saying anything else. When I felt her emotions calm down, I leaned over to the nightstand between our beds and turned on the lamp. It glowed dimly, but neither of us really needed much to see by. Attracted by the light, our housemate's cat, Oscar, leapt up onto the sill of the open window. He gave me a wide berth—animals don't like dhampirs, for whatever reason—but jumped onto the bed and rubbed his head against Lissa, purring softly. Animals didn't have a problem with Moroi, and they all loved Lissa in particular. Smiling, she scratched his chin, and I felt her calm further.**

"**When did we last do a feeding?" I asked, studying her face. Her fair skin was paler than usual.**

I was watching Dimitri's face, so I saw the moment he understood why Lissa was so upset, why Christian was so pale, and why I—why I looked afraid. And then, he got angry. He was about to say something, but I squeezed his hand and sent him a look as full of calm as I could muster.

**Dark circles hung under her eyes, and there was an air of frailty about her. School had been hectic this week, and I couldn't remember the last time I'd given her blood. "It's been like…more than two days, hasn't it? Three? Why didn't you say anything?"**

**She shrugged and wouldn't meet my eyes. "You were busy. I didn't want to—"**

"**Screw that," I said, shifting into a better position. No wonder she seemed so weak. Oscar, not wanting me any closer, leapt down and returned to the window, where he could watch at a safe distance. "Come on. Let's do this."**

"**Rose—"**

"**Come **_**on**_**. It'll make you feel better."**

**I tilted my head and tossed my hair back, baring my neck. I saw her hesitate, but the sight of my neck and what it offered proved too powerful. A hungry expression crossed her face, and her lips parted slightly, exposing the fangs she normally kept hidden while living among humans.**

**Those fangs contrasted oddly with the rest of her features. With her pretty face and pale blond hair, she looked more like an angel than a vampire.**

**As her teeth neared my bare skin, I felt my heart race with a mix of fear and anticipation. I always hated feeling the latter, but it was nothing I could help, a weakness I couldn't shake.**

**Her fangs bit into me, hard, and I cried out at the brief flare of pain. Then it faded, replaced by a wonderful, golden joy that spread through my body. It was better than any of the times I'd been drunk or high. Better than sex—or so I imagined, since I'd never done it. It was a blanket of pure, refined pleasure, wrapping me up and promising everything would be right in the world.**

**On and on it went. The chemicals in her saliva triggered an endorphin rush, and I lost track of the world, lost track of who I was.**

**Then, regretfully, it was over. It had taken less than a minute.**

**She pulled back, wiping her hand across her lips as she studied me. "You okay?"**

"**I…yeah." I lay back on the bed, dizzy from the blood loss. "I just need to sleep it off. I'm fine."**

**Her pale, jade-green eyes watched me with concern. She stood up. "I'm going to get you something to eat."**

**My protests came awkwardly to my lips, and she left before I could get out a sentence. The buzz from her bite had lessened as soon as he broke the connection, but some of it still lingered in my veins, and I felt a goofy smile cross my lips. Turning my head, I glanced up at Oscar, still sitting in the window. "You don't know what you're missing," I told him.**

**His attention was on something outside. Hunkering down into a crouch, he puffed out his jet-black fur. His tail started twitching.**

**My smile faded, and I forced myself to sit up. The world spun, and I waited for it to right itself before trying to stand. When I managed it, the dizziness set in again and this time refused to leave. Still, I felt okay enough to stumble to the window and peer out with Oscar. He eyed me warily, scooted over a little, and then returned to whatever had held his attention.**

**A warm breeze-unseasonably warm for a Portland fall—played with my hair as I leaned out.**

**The street was dark and relatively quiet. It was three in the morning, just about the only time a college campus settled down, at least somewhat. The house in which we'd rented a room for the past eight months sat on a residential street with old, mismatched houses. Across the road a streetlight flickered, nearly ready to burn out. It still cast enough light for me to make out the shapes of cars and buildings. In our own yard, I could see the silhouettes of trees and bushes.**

**And a man watching me.**

**I jerked back in surprise. A figure stood by a tree in the yard, about thirty feet away, where he could easily see through the window. He was close enough that I probably could have thrown something and hit him. He was certainly close enough that he could have seen what Lissa and I had just done.**

**The shadows covered him so well that even with my heightened sight, I couldn't make out any of his features, save for his height. He was tall. Really tall. He stood there for just a moment, barely discernible, and then stepped back, disappearing into the shadows cast by the trees on the far side of the yard. I was pretty sure I saw someone else move nearby and join him before the blackness swallowed them both.**

**Whoever these figures were, Oscar didn't like them. Not counting me, he usually got along with most people, growing upset only when someone posed an immediate danger. The guy outside hadn't done anything threatening to Oscar, but the cat had sensed something, something that put him on edge.**

**Something similar to what he always sensed in me.**

**Icy fear raced through me, almost—but not quite—eradicating the lovely bliss of Lissa's bite.**

**Backing up from the window, I jerked on a pair of jeans that I found on the floor, nearly falling over in the process. Once they were on, I grabbed my coat and Lissa's along with our wallets.**

**Shoving my feet into the first shoes I saw, I headed out the door.**

**Downstairs, I found her in the cramped kitchen, rummaging through the refrigerator. One of our housemates, Jeremy, sat at the table, hand on his forehead as he stared sadly at a calculus book.**

**Lissa regarded me with surprise.**

"**You shouldn't be up."**

"**We have to go. Now."**

**Her eyes widened, and then a moment later, understanding clicked in. "Are you…really? Are you sure?"**

**I nodded. I couldn't explain how I knew for sure. I just did.**

**Jeremy watched us curiously. "What's wrong?"**

**An idea came to mind. "Liss, get his car keys."**

**He looked back and forth between us. "What are you—"**

**Lissa unhesitatingly walked over to him. Her fear poured into me through our psychic bond, but there was something else too: her complete faith that I would take care of everything, that we would be safe. Like always, I hoped I was worthy of that kind of trust.**

**She smiled broadly and gazed directly into his eyes. For a moment, Jeremy just stared, still confused, and then I saw the thrall seize him. His eyes glazed over, and he regarded her adoringly.**

"**We need to borrow your car, she said in a gentle voice. "Where are your keys?"**

**He smiled, and I shivered. I had a high resistance to compulsion, but I could still feel its effects when it was directed at another person. That, and I'd been taught my entire life that using it was wrong. Reaching into his pocket, Jeremy handed over a set of keys hanging on a large red key chain.**

"**Thank you," said Lissa. "And where is it parked?"**

"**Down the street," he said dreamily. "At the corner. By Brown." Four blocks away.**

"**Thank you," she repeated, backing up. "As soon as we leave, I want you to go back to studying. Forget you ever saw us tonight."**

**He nodded obligingly. I got the impression he would have walked off a cliff for her right then if she'd asked. All humans were susceptible to compulsion, but Jeremy appeared weaker than most. That came in handy right now.**

"**Come on," I told her. "We've got to move."**

**We stepped outside, heading toward the corner he'd named. I was still dizzy from the bite and kept stumbling, unable to move as quickly as I wanted. Lissa had to catch hold of me a few times to stop me from falling. All the time, that anxiety rushed into me from her mind. I tried my best to ignore it; I had my own fears to deal with.**

"**Rose…what are we going to do if they catch us?" she whispered.**

"**They won't," I said fiercely. "I won't let them."**

"**But if they've found us—"**

"**They found us before. They didn't catch us then. We'll just drive over to the train station and go to L.A. They'll lose the trail."**

**I made it sound simple. I always did, even though there was nothing simple about being on the run from the people we'd grown up with. We'd been doing it for two years, hiding wherever we could and just trying to finish high school. Our senior year had just stared, and living on a college campus had seemed safe. We were so close to freedom.**

**She said nothing more, and I felt her faith in me surge up once more. This was the way it had always been between us. I was the one who took action, who made sure things happened—sometimes recklessly so. She was the more reasonable one, the one who thought things out and researched them extensively before acting. Both styles had their uses, but at the moment, recklessness was called for. We didn't have time to hesitate.**

**Lissa and I had been best friends ever since kindergarten, when our teacher had paired us together for writing lessons. Forcing five-year-olds to spell **_**Vasillisa Dragomir **_**and**_** Rosemarie Hathaway **_**was beyond cruel, and we'd—or rather, **_**I'd**_**—responded appropriately. I'd chucked my book at our teacher and called her a fascist bastard. I hadn't known what those words meant, but I'd known how to hit a moving target.**

**Lissa and I had been inseparable ever since.**

"**Do you hear that?" She asked suddenly.**

**It took me a few seconds to pick up what her sharper senses already had. Footsteps, moving fast. I grimaced. We had two more blocks to go.**

"**We've got to run for it," I said, catching hold of her arm.**

"**But you can't—"**

"_**Run.**_**"**

**It took every ounce of my willpower not to pass out on the sidewalk. My body didn't want to run after losing blood or while still metabolizing the effects of her saliva. But I ordered my muscles to stop their bitching and clung to Lisa as our feet pounded against the concrete.**

**Normally I could have outrun her without any extra effort—particularly since she was barefoot—but tonight, he was all that held me upright.**

**The pursuing footsteps grew louder, closer. Black stars danced before my eyes. Ahead of us, I could make out Jeremy's green Honda. Oh God, if we could just make it—**

**Ten feet from the car, a man stepped directly into our path. We came to a screeching halt, and I jerked Lissa back by her arm. It was **_**him**_**, the guy I'd seen across the street watching me. He was older than us, maybe mid-twenties, and as tall as I'd figured, probably six-six or six-seven.**

**And under different circumstances—say, when he wasn't holding up our desperate escape—I would have thought he was hot. Shoulder-length brown hair, tied back in a short ponytail. Dark brown eyes. A long brown coat—a duster, I thought it was called.**

**But his hotness was irrelevant now. He was only an obstacle keeping Lissa and me away from the car and our freedom. The footsteps behind us slowed, and I knew our pursuers had caught up. Off to the sides, I detected more movement, more people closing in. God. They'd sent almost a dozen guardians to retrieve us. I couldn't believe it. The queen herself didn't travel with that many.**

**Panicked and not entirely in control of my higher reasoning, I acted out of instinct. I pressed up to Lissa, keeping her behind me and away from the man who appeared to be the leader.**

"**Leave her alone," I growled. "Don't touch her."**

**His face was unreadable, but he held out his hands in what was apparently supposed to be some sort of calming gesture, like I was a rabid animal he was planning to sedate.**

"**I'm not going to—"**

**He took a step forward. Too close.**

**I attacked him, leaping out in an offensive maneuver I hadn't used in two years, not since Lissa and I had run away. The move was stupid, another reaction born of instinct and fear. And it was hopeless. He was a skilled guardian, not a novice who hadn't finished his training. He also wasn't weak and on the verge of passing out.**

**And man, was he was fast, I'd forgotten how fast guardians could be, how they could move and strike like cobras. He knocked me off as though brushing away a fly, and his hands slammed into me and sent me backwards. I don't think he meant to strike that hard—probably just intended to keep me away—but my lack of coordination interfered with my ability to respond.**

**Unable to catch my footing, I started to fall, heading straight toward the sidewalk at a twisted angle, hip-first. It was going to hurt. A **_**lot**_**.**

**Only it didn't.**

**Just as quickly as he'd blocked me, the man reached out and caught my arm, keeping me upright. When I'd steadied myself, I noticed he was staring at me—or, more precisely, at my neck. Still disoriented, I didn't get it right away. Then, slowly, my free hand reached up to the side of my throat and lightly touched the wound Lissa had made earlier. When I pulled my fingers back, I saw slick, dark blood on my skin. Embarrassed, I shook my hair so that it fell forward around my face. My hair was thick and long and completely covered my neck. I'd grown it out for precisely this reason.**

**The guy's dark eyes lingered on the now-covered bite a moment longer and then met mine. I returned his look defiantly and quickly jerked out of his hold. He let me go, though I knew he could have restrained me all night if he'd wanted. Fighting the nauseating dizziness, I backed toward Lissa again, bracing myself for another attack. Suddenly, her hand caught hold of mine.**

"**Rose," she said quietly. "Don't."**

**Her words had no effect on me at first, but calming thoughts gradually began to settle in my mind, coming across through the bond. It wasn't exactly compulsion—she wouldn't use that me—but it was effectual, as was the fact that we were hopelessly outnumbered and outclassed.**

**Even I knew struggling would be pointless. The tension left my body, and I sagged in defeat.**

**Sensing my resignation, the man stepped forward, turning his attention to Lissa. His face was calm. He swept her a bow and managed to look graceful doing it, which surprised me considering his height. "My name is Dimitri Belikov," he said. I could hear a faint Russian accent. "I've come to take you back to St. Vladimir's Academy, Princess."**

Lissa closed the book around the bookmark I had given her once with the Dragomir coat of arms embossed on it, and once again looked at me. I was glad to see that reading had helped to calm her down.

Christian spoke first. "So, that's what we had to tell you. I wasn't there, of course, but Lissa told me that the details are spot on from her point of view."

"Mine as well," said Dimitri softly, looking—just as he had on that long-ago night—at my neck.

Lissa looked at me with wonder. "You never told me that you could see my nightmares. I'm so sorry, I had no idea—"

"It doesn't matter," I interrupted matter-of-factly. "What matters, is that what I can remember of that night is all there, along with the details I had forgotten—like the color of Jeremy's keychain. The question is, _how_?"

We all regarded each other silently, no one quite sure where to begin looking for the answers to that chilling question.

"Well," Christian said cheerily, "What I want to know is how on earth you became a bestselling author with your atrocious grades."

I gave him an incredulous look for about five seconds before a huge smile broke over my face, and then I was laughing and couldn't stop. After a few seconds, Christian joined in and Lissa began giggling. Even serious Dimitri was shaking as he tried to hold back his laughter.

"Imagine that, Liss," I said gleefully "All those years of being a bookworm, and you finally figured out my deep dark secret." She snorted hard, which only caused us all to laugh harder.

Eventually we sobered. "Seriously," I said "I want to know how the hell this happened. This is serious. Not only does this Richelle person know things that only a handful of people were around to witness, but she was able to write down my _thoughts_. Creepy."

Lissa nodded. "From what I've read so far, this seems to retell the first couple weeks of our senior year. Not to mention there are five more where this came from."

Once again, I was incredulous. "_Five?!_"

She nodded. "This was the first. There's also Frostbite, which is apparently about the time you were captured in Spokane, Shadow Kiss, about the attack on St. Vladimir's, Blood Promise, which is," Lissa's voice faltered, "which is about you going to Russia to kill Dimitri, Spirit Bound, about his hunting you down, and Last Sacrifice, about you being accused of Tatiana's murder and my election."

Dimitri looked troubled, and I knew why. "So one of the books goes into details about my time in Russia?" The horror on my face must have shown, because Christian said quickly, "We haven't read it. Hell, we haven't even got halfway through this one."

"How did you come by these books?" Dimitri asked. Good question.

"Someone sent them to me," Lissa explained. "I got a note saying that I needed to read these and to be careful." She leaned down toward a box sitting beside the coffee table and handed Dimitri a sheet of paper.

"No signature," I said as we looked it over. "No way to find out who sent it."

"Whoever it is, it seems to be someone wanting to warn and protect Lissa." Dimitri pointed out.

"We need help." Christian said. "More than likely, Richelle Mead is a pseudonym for whoever is responsible for these books. They're 'fiction', so this person has been selling them to humans for entertainment."

"Glad to know how amusing the hardest moments of my life are." I snapped. I stood up and paced the room. "This is a load of shit. How dare someone take my humiliation, my fears, and my _pain_ and use them to make money."

This time, Lissa was the one to comfort me. She came over and leaned her forehead against mine. "Rose, it's okay. You know that, right? We'll get to the bottom of it, because that's what we do. We take all those bad things, and we find a way to make good come out of them. That night Dimitri caught us, who could have ever guessed that less than two years later, you would be Captain of the Queen's guard, or that I would be that Queen? It's not like we haven't dealt with our share of mysteries and questions, and we _always_ figure it out. This is no different. We'll find this person, and we'll make her pay for throwing your life out there like it was some kind of game. I promise, we'll get through this. And you know it's true, because I'm Queen, and my word is law."

I sighed and hugged her. "I know. I just—I'd rather not have someone else be able to see inside my head. It's not the prettiest place sometimes."

She gave me a rueful smile. "Yeah, can't say I know what it's like to have someone read your mind."

I smiled back tentatively, and then turned to the guys.

"So what's the plan?"

"We need help," Christian said. "I know it's not ideal, but we're not going to be able to figure this out on our own. I think it's a good idea to get some trustworthy people together."

Dimitri nodded. "It is a good idea. Who did you have in mind?"

Lissa looked at us and spoke first. "Eddie and Adrian come to mind first, but they can't leave Jill."

"Then they should bring her too. And if Sydney would agree to it, I think she would be a big help. She's smart, and" I hesitated for a moment, then continued "and she spent some time with me both in Russia and while Dimitri and I were on the run. The problem would be getting her here. The Alchemists wouldn't let her come along just to help us."

"Then we tell them that we need her to help protect our races against exposure." Dimitri reasoned. "We tell them part of the truth, that someone is risking our secrets and that she is the only Alchemist we know well enough to share our secret with. She'll tell them what is going on, but I believe that we can get help from her before they whisk her away. Sonya should join us as well."

"Abe is wily, and he has connections. He could be a big help." I said. Then I sighed. "And of course, that means bringing Mom into it as well."

"So, we have Janine, Abe, Eddie, Adrian, Jill, Sydney, and Sonya. Anyone else?" asked Lissa.

"Mia." Christian and I said at the same time. Lissa gave us a knowing look. "Of course, how can we possibly forget the Moroi who is working hand in hand with the Queen's soon-to-be husband to teach Moroi to use their powers in defense."

"Hey now," Christian said defensively. "You aren't still jealous are you?"

Lissa sighed. "Of course not. I like and trust Mia. But you do realize that the book we're reading isn't exactly going to say pleasant things about her, right?"

I snorted. "It'll be a good reminder to her that she should be nice to people. You never know when the girl you diss today becomes Queen of Vampires the next."

Lissa laughed and shook her head. "We should probably set this all up for next weekend, so that everyone has time to get here. I'll call Sonya and Adrian, and he can let Eddie, Jill, and Sydney know."

Christian stood up. "And I'll go tell Mia."

I pulled out my phone and began dialing. "I'll let my parents know. Oh, Liss, make sure Sydney doesn't worry about getting here; I'm about to call the one guy in the world the Alchemists will listen to."


	2. Chapter 2

The six days that followed were agonizing. I found myself constantly worrying. Who was this person? Was she someone I knew? Someone I trusted? Maybe this was all a horrible dream and any moment I was going to wake up next to Dimitri. He would hold me close as I recounted the details of that 'day', and once I was awake they would seem funny. Unfortunately I knew from experience that once you started wondering whether or not you were really awake, the answer came quickly. No; this was all too real. And very soon those I cared about, trusted, and respected most would know the worst parts of who Rose Hathaway really was.

I spent those days with Lissa, those nights with Dimitri. Lissa was busy with the online summer courses she had enrolled in and, of course, the endless council meetings, so we had little time to discuss the events of that day. Once Dimitri and I had left each day, he did all he could to keep me occupied. Very successfully, I might add. Slowly, the week passed and our guests arrived.

We were at lunch when Mom arrived, Abe at her side. I groaned as I wondered how he had managed to time his arrival so perfectly. Since my trip to Russia, they had gradually begun spending more and more time together and I did _not_ like to think on the implications. I had better not end up with a brother or sister this late in the game, I thought.

"Queen Vasilisa!" Abe swept Lissa a graceful bow as he kissed the back of her hand. I rolled my eyes.

He turned to me. "Ah, and of course, the lovely Guardian Hathaway the second; my troublemaking child, so like her father that his heart aches with pride."

"Shove it, old man." I retorted. "I have better things to do than listen to you ramble. Like telling my mother how happy I am to see her." I stood to give her a hug, and she warmly responded "It's good to see you as well, Rose. How have you been? And how much trouble can you have possibly made for yourself that you require and accept assistance from your parents?"

Christian laughed at the piqued look I gave her. "Don't even try, Rose. I can't think of any reason on earth you would ask Abe to show up that didn't include intrigue, mystery, and you getting into trouble."

I raised my eyebrows at him, and then smiled sweetly. "Why, Lord Ozera, you are absolutely right. I guess I _will _need good old dad to bail me out after I black both eyes of the Queen's fiancée."

"By bail you out, I suppose you mean blow up some priceless artifacts," Dimitri grinned.

Abe looked at Dimitri, and then at me. "I take it the two of you are still happily in love and have no desire to ever part with each other? And by two of you, I mean Dimitri, of course. Rose can leave anytime she wants and I will still support her. But you—" he gave Dimitri his cold, menacing smile that still managed to send a shiver of fear down my back.

I placed myself in front of Abe, crossing my arms and giving him my best copy of that chilling smile. "And Rose thinks that what goes on between the two of us is none of your concern."

He just looked at me for a moment, and then that smile was replaced with one of real pleasure.

"You are getting better and better every time I see you, my dear. Truly, there isn't a father alive who can claim the pride I feel."

I shook my head and sat down again.

"What is this all about?" That was Mom, always getting straight to the point.

"There's a series of books about my life."

"Excuse me?"

"There is a set of books being sold as fiction. But they aren't actually fiction. They're about me, about the past two years of my life. Everything from Lissa and me running away from St. Vladimir's to Lissa's coronation. And they're told from my point of view. They tell the readers my _thoughts_." I couldn't think of anything more to say that would be the least bit productive, so I ended there.

Janine Hathaway was speechless for possibly the first time in my life.

"And who pray tell is the unfortunate soul privy to those intimate thoughts?" asked Abe smoothly.

"We have no idea." Lissa said. "All I know is that someone sent me a set of books, and there are things in these books that _I_ didn't even know."

Mom looked thoughtful. "So what is the plan?"

"We've called together a small group of people while we try to figure it out."

After lunch, we headed to the royal suite.

Sonya and Mia were the first to arrive, and while we were explaining the basics to the two of them, a knock sounded at the door.

I answered the door to the rest of the party.

Jill pushed past Eddie and Sydney to wrap her arms tightly around me.

"I missed you!" she exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear.

"I missed you too, jailbait." I laughed. Sydney sent me a small smile, and Eddie put an arm around my shoulders in a half-hug. I looked at Adrian, who pushed past me without as much as a nod. I sighed and closed the door behind him.

Everyone was happily chatting away, greeting each other and catching up. Sydney nervously stood aside from the group, obviously wishing she were anywhere else. I walked up to her and gave her a quick hug. Surprise showed on her face, but she hugged me back and quietly said "It's good to see you again, Rose."

"Of course it is," I said matter of factly. "Did you expect any less?" I studied her for a moment. "Hey, you're okay here, you know. I swear, none of us are going to try to steal your soul or anything."

Sydney rolled her eyes. "It's not that," she responded. "The Alchemists can't figure out why the Queen wants me particularly at court, and they've already expressed concerns about my…attachment…to a certain troublemaking dhampir. I'm afraid that eventually they'll decide that I'm too much of a risk to keep around and get rid of me."

"Oh." I wasn't sure what to say to that. Sydney had become a friend since I first met her in Russia, and I wanted so badly to help her. But when it came to the Alchemists, there was nothing I could do.

I hesitated before asking the question weighing heaviest on my mind. "How's Adrian been doing?"

Sydney glanced at him as he and Lissa laughed about some story she was telling about one of the Princes on the council. "Depends. Some days he's broody and drunk. Sometimes he's just wild and crazy. Then there are days he seems happy. The happy days are slowly increasing."

"And how is Jill? I'm guessing they couldn't keep the bond from you."

"She's learning to deal with it. And knowing that his actions affect her makes Adrian think twice. He's really protective of her, you know."

I smiled, remembering when the two of them had first met. "Yeah, he always has been. We all are, but Adrian took her under his wing from day one. It's good that they have each other."

Something in my voice must have tipped her off, because she took a hard look at me and then asked "And how are you dealing with _not_ having a bond? I know you spent a lot of time in Queen Vasilisa's head when we were together."

I rolled my eyes. "It's Lissa to her friends." Which earned me another _look._ "I'm not sure helping her Guardian make her grand escape from prison puts me on her friend list."

"Of course it does," I explained glibly. I then adopted a more serious tone. "Honestly, Sydney, you helped save her best friends life, more than once. You're taking care of her sister. You are the only human she would ever consider trusting. The fact that you're an Alchemist is a side note for us. We wanted you here; _I _wanted you here because we trust you. And we need that brilliant mind of yours to help us figure this out."

She considered for a moment and nodded. "And I trust you. I can't really say that about the Queen or her boyfriend, your Mom or that blonde—sorry, don't know who she is—because I don't know them. And who on earth could ever trust Zmey? But those of you I've spent time with; yeah, I trust you guys with my life. Considering that all of you but Jill have saved it though, that kind of goes without saying."

I grinned. "Thanks for going ahead and saying it anyway, though. And believe it or not, legendary Guardian Janine Hathaway trusts the snake. Dumb move, huh?"

Sydney laughed. It was such a rare sound, and I was glad to hear it.

Adrian looked up at us and said "If the two of you are done gossiping about my ravishing good looks, can we begin?" My heart leaped a little at the fact that he was being civil toward me, and then I noticed that his eyes were steadily on Sydney. It sank again, and I followed it onto a loveseat beside Dimitri. Sydney hesitated only a moment before sitting next to me.

"Ground rules," said Lissa. "Some of you know what this is about, others don't. Let me get the first chapter read, and then we can discuss. Honestly, the best way to explain is just to read."

She opened the book and read Chapter one to the awaiting crowd. I tuned it out for the most part since I had already heard this part, and studied everyone's faces.

Adrian was the first to get it. His eyes widened for a moment before turning on me. I met his gaze, my heart racing, and to my surprise I saw not only the understanding of what was being told, but _compassion_. He looked away quickly, though.

Thanks to their bond, Jill was only a couple seconds behind Adrian. She glanced nervously at me, and for a few seconds I was enveloped in blinding jealousy. Even though it had been a pain too many times to count, I missed the bond so badly sometimes that my heart ached at the loss. I felt a prickling behind my eyes and quickly looked around at the others.

Sydney was next. I heard a small gasp and felt her hand close around mine. I wasn't sure if she was trying to comfort me or looking for my comfort. When I looked at her, all the color had drained from her face. She took a deep breath and looked at me, determination written all over her face as she squeezed my hand. Both, I decided.

I'm not sure when the rest of the group got it; Adrian Jill and Sydney had held my attention.

When Lissa finished, everyone except my little group from a week ago stared at me.

I smiled brightly. "Yup, that's right. Welcome to the reading of my autobiography."

"Biography," Sydney corrected in an automated voice. "An autobiography is written by the person the book is about. A biography is written by someone else, usually posthumously."

Ahh, the sweet sound of normalcy. I grinned at her, and the rest of the room seemed to unfreeze.

"So, what happens next?" Adrian asked flippantly.

"We all know what happens next, we go back to school, I kick ass in all my classes, and we all live happily ever after." I shot back.

Eddie laughed outright. "I think you mean got your ass kicked in all your classes, got in a ton of trouble every time you turned around, and then lived happily ever for about, oh, a month before you found some more trouble to get into."

I punched him on the arm, but couldn't help laughing too.

"This is no laughing matter," Mom said.

Sonya spoke up "Janine is right. This is a frightening concept. Assuming that Rose isn't hiding the money from moonlighting as a best-selling author—"

"That's what I said!" crowed Christian, making those of us under twenty laugh.

Sonya sent him a look and we settled down. "We need to figure out who this author is." She finished.

"That's the problem," Lissa said. "The only records we can find anywhere for Richelle Mead is her books. No phone, no address, no birth certificate, nothing. It's a pseudonym for whoever she really is."

"Well," Mia pitched in thoughtfully "We know that she knows about Moroi and dhampirs, and at least a little about our powers. So she's either one of us or one of the humans on the fringes of our society."

"She's a spirit user." I said suddenly. The entire room turned their incredulous looks toward me.

"Think about it," I reasoned. "She knows about us, she knows about spirit, she knows about the shadow kissed. Biggest clue of them all, she _knows my thoughts._ Lissa, Adrian, you remember Oksana, right?" They nodded. "She was a spirit user I met in Siberia," I explained to the others. Dimitri looked shocked.

"I knew she had never specialized, and that she had special abilities, but I never put that together. Even knowing that she was bonded with Mark," he mused.

"She had the same ability as Avery." Blank stares from about half the room. "Oh, never mind, it's in the books. Anyway, Oksana could—I guess the best way to describe it would be that she could _touch_ your mind with hers. She could read your thoughts, and Avery was able to not only read my thoughts but make my mind believe that I was somewhere else, living my deepest desire."

Adrian looked thoughtful. "That makes sense." He said. "My question is: what's the big deal?"

He must have seen the murder in my eyes, because he quickly amended "I understand that it's a violation of your mind and privacy and all. What I'm saying is why are we treating this as a state emergency? So someone can read your mind and has decided to make a small fortune from it. It's awful for you, yes, but whoever it is sold these books as fiction. She isn't trying to tell the world vampires are real, let's all stake them where they lay. She isn't offering the masses the chance to become Strigoi and let go of those pesky souls. She's telling a story that they think is just an entertaining way to pass time."

Abe gave him a hard look. "And what if it was _your_ innermost thoughts and beliefs that she was writing about? What if it was Lissa's? Which, actually, it is, since Rose was bonded with Lissa the entire timeline of these books. This person has given humans the secrets of our Queen. They know what she can do with spirit, which is more than anyone in the Moroi world knows outside those of us in this room. They know what she fears, what she hopes, what she dreams. They know, I'm assuming, where she _lives._"

Adrian said nothing, but I saw regret flash over his face.

Sydney nervously spoke, as if she were afraid to have the room's attention. Which, considering the races in the room, was probably exactly what she was afraid of. "There are also factions of humans that could use this information to kill Moroi. We've dealt with one; they call themselves the 'Warriors of Light'. They tried to kill Sonya. And I'm sure there are more out there. This is a real threat."

Abe settled back in his seat and tilted his head toward Sydney. "Thank you, Miss Sage. I believe now that we all realize what is at risk, we can begin deciding who this person really is."

Sydney stood up. "I have to make a call first. The Alchemists will need to know about these books, and they may be able to help track down the author" She looked regretful as she spoke her next words. "They'll probably want me to leave."

Lissa asked "Do you want to?" It wasn't a demanding question, more of a gentle inquiry. She knew how the Alchemists felt about us, but from what she had learned about Sydney from those of us who knew her, she like her.

Sydney hesitated. "I can't say that I'm completely comfortable here. I don't think I could ever be completely comfortable with vampires—"

"And their unnatural offspring," I added glibly.

"And dhampirs," she amended. "But I think I could help. I _want_ to help. And those of you I've spent time with are—this isn't to leave this room—I consider you friends. Except Abe."

Abe chuckled at that. "I would be offended if you had said anything else, my dear."

I shot him a glare. "Do you have to constantly try to strike fear into the heart of man?"

"It's what I do."

Lissa stood. "In that case I'd like to join you. They may listen to Abe on occasion, but I think as Queen I have a little more clout."

I snorted, and she shot me a glare.

The rest of us made small talk until the two of them came back.

I looked at Lissa, who nodded. I grinned and gave Sydney a hug. "You are my favorite human ever."

"That means so much coming from someone who knows maybe two other humans." Sydney responded sarcastically. "Time to get back to work."

"Our best clues will probably be in the books." Dimitri said.

"No," I said quickly. "I don't think the books will give us any clues at all. I think those have pretty much outworn their usefulness."

Christian gave me a wicked grin. "I disagree."

I flipped him off and sat down. Mom spoke up then. "Dimitri is right. The books should have some clues regarding the identity of our mystery writer."

"I hate to say it, Rose, but I don't think there's a way around it." Eddie said sympathetically.

"Fine," I growled. "Chapter two."

Lissa picked the book up and began reading again.

**Blinking, I fought against her and shifted back into my own head with a grimace. I hated when that happened. Feeling Lissa's emotions was one thing, but slipping into her was something we both despised. She saw it as an invasion of privacy, so I usually didn't tell her when it happened. Neither of us could control it. It was another effect of the bond, a bond neither of us fully understood. Legends existed about psychic links between guardians and their Moroi, but the stories had never mentioned anything like this. We fumbled through it as best we could.**

Jill looked at me knowingly, but I couldn't meet her eyes. The bond I had despised so much that long ago night was something I craved constantly. I would give almost anything to be able to feel that again, to find myself inside Lissa's head.

**It **(St. Vlad's) **probably looked the same, sprawling and gothic. The Moroi were big on tradition; nothing ever changed with them. This school wasn't as old as the ones back in Europe, but it had been built in the same style. The buildings boasted elaborate, almost churchlike architecture, with high peaks and stone carvings. Wrought iron gates enclosed small gardens and doorways here and there. After living on a college campus, I had a new appreciation for just how much this place resembled a university more than a typical high school.**

"I miss it," Jill said softly. Lissa nodded and looked pleased that she and her sister agreed on something. Those of us who had been in school together, including Adrian, all nodded as well. Except Mia. "Yeah right," she snorted. "I hated that place. Too many snobs." I looked pointedly at her and she shut up.

**As we walked into the main part of the upper school, I broke from my guardian and ran up to Dimitri.**

**"Hey, Comrade."**

I saw Dimitri grin. "That was the first time you used that stereotype on me," he said fondly. I grinned back. So maybe not _all_ the stuff these books would bring back would be horrible. After all, I'd get to relive falling in love with him.

**"Headmistress. Whatever. She's still a self-righteous old bit—"**

Christian finished. "ch." Eddie and I laughed. Lissa shook her head, but I caught a grin before she had time to conceal it.

**But what I found most interesting was that Aaron had apparently found a way to pass the time without her. Beside him, holding his hand, was a Moroi girl who looked about eleven but had to be older, unless he'd become a pedophile during our absence. With plump little cheeks and blond ringlets, she looked like a porcelain doll. A very pissed off and evil porcelain doll. She gripped his hand tightly and shot Lissa a look of such burning hatred that it stunned me. What the hell was that all about? She was no one I knew. Just a jealous girlfriend, I guessed. I'd be pissed too if my guy was watching someone else like that.**

Mia sighed. "Yeah, I was definitely pissed off over Aaron's reaction. No way I took one look at Rose and _knew_ all the trouble she would cause me."

I sent her a sweet smile. "You know you love me. I'm always giving you something interesting to look at. Or talk about. Or do. Or wind up in prison over."

**Startled, I realized there was someone else in the room. I hadn't noticed. Careless for a guardian, even a novice one.**

**With a great deal of effort, Vic**—Lissa hesitated for a moment. I realized why. **Victor Dashkov rose from a corner chair. **_**Prince **_**Victor Dashkov. Lissa sprang up and ran to him, throwing her arms around his frail body.**

**"Uncle," she whispered. She sounded on the verge of tears as she tightened her grip.**

**With a small smile, he gently patted her back. "You have no idea how glad I am to see you safe, Vasilisa." He looked toward me. "And you too, Rose."**

Christian's arm went around Lissa, and I had to bow my head to keep the others from seeing my grief. It had been so long since that day that I had managed to forget that once upon a time he had been a nice, gentle man who had honestly seemed to love Lissa. She had loved him, and because of that and because of the way he had treated her, I had loved him as well. I looked up as Adrian gently took the book from Lissa's hands and began reading.

**With all the horrible people in the world, it didn't seem fair that this guy should get a disease that was going to kill him young and ultimately keep him from becoming king.**

I allowed the anger that always came at the sound of his name to rise again. "I'm pretty sure that what the author _meant_ to say was that it was poetic justice that this bastard should get a disease that was going to kill him, and it was just a shame that he didn't die sooner."

**It was a good one—one of Kirova's best, which was saying something. She was a master at them. I swear that was the only reason she'd gone into school administration, because I had yet to see any evidence of her actually **_**liking **_**kids. The rant covered the usual topics: responsibility reckless behavior, self-centeredness.…Bleh. I immediately found myself spacing out, alternatively pondering the logistics of escaping through the window in her office.**

"She did give the best lectures," Eddie mused.

"I can see you climbing out a window to escape one of them," Mia said.

"You weren't doing as good a job as you though concealing what you were thinking," Dimitri smiled.

I just groaned.

**I snapped.**

"Of course you did." sighed Mom.

"I don't think you're physically capable of _not_ snapping at your superiors," Eddie added.

I glared.

**"I see. Well, then. By my estimation, the only reason you left—aside from the novelty of it, no doubt—was to avoid the consequences of that horrible, destructive stunt you pulled just before your disappearance."**

Abe perked up. "I don't believe I've heard of this stunt. Do share, Rose." I rolled my eyes. "It wasn't actually me. It was someone else and I just wound up taking the blame." He looked disappointed.

"But if it makes you feel any better, I did threaten physical violence toward the person who did the destruction." And once again, he was happy. Why did _I_ have to wind up with a mob boss for a dad?

**I stared at Kirova, unable to believe what I was hearing. "Where are you going to send me? To my mom in Nepal? Did she even know I was gone? Or maybe you'll send me off to my **_**father?"**_

Mom looked wounded, and I felt bad.

Abe grinned. "That's exactly what she should have done. Tracked me down and sent you to me. I would have done well by you."

Sydney rolled her eyes. "I'm not sure your version of 'done well by you' is that much better than leaving her tied to a set of railroad tracks just in time to get hit by the train."

I was impressed. Last time I had seen Sydney, she had been afraid to _look_ at the old man, let alone talk back to him. I gave her a thumbs up. "Your training is complete."

Abe looked at Sydney and then me, and finally threw his hands up. "From now on, I am keeping my business contacts far, far away from you."

Janine gave him a withering look. "I would hope that you would have enough sense to do that anyway."

If I hadn't seen this with my own eyes, I would have never believed it. Abe Mazur leaned to the side opposite my mother. His eyes showed a wariness I had never seen before.

"Of course I would never allow Rose to get involved with my business connections. Well, beside Sydney of course. And she's an Alchemist, or I would have never let your daughter anywhere near her."

Dimitri whispered in my ear "And that's why your mother is much more frightening to me than any Strigoi."

**"It's obvious," he said. "I suspected as soon as I started watching them."**

Adrian looked up and quipped "So it's a thing with you, huh? Watching young girls?"

Dimitri said nothing, and I just stared at Adrian.

He shrugged. "It was a joke; too great an opening to pass up."

Jill uneasily spoke up then. "He did mean it as a joke, Rose."

Adrian easily answered. "No need, jailbait. I don't care what she thinks of me," and looked back down at the book.

**"Wild and disrespectful?" I interrupted. "Who the hell are you anyway? Outsourced help?"**

**"Guardian Belikov is the princess's guardian now," said Kirova. "Her **_**sanctioned **_**guardian."**

**"You got cheap foreign labor to protect Lissa?"**

Eddie laughed. "Yes, Rose, you are most certainly wild and disrespectful. Not sure you can label Belikov as cheap, though."

I grinned at him. "Nope, not cheap in the least. It cost me thousands of dollars and the Moroi government probably a few hundred thousand just to track him down and save his ass."

"You mean it cost _me_ thousands of dollars, little dhampir," Adrian said dryly.

Both Jill and Lissa looked miserable. Jill sent Lissa an apologetic look and Lissa smiled warmly back. For the first time in a week I felt hopeful. Maybe some good could come out of this after all.

**That genetic combination had given me skin the same color as the inside of an almond, along with what I liked to think were semi-exotic desert-princess features.**

"Vain much?" asked Mia.

"Suck it." I responded.

**"Who's going to put in the extra time?" demanded Kirova. "You?"**

**Dimitri's argument came to an abrupt stop. "Well, that's not what I—"**

**Kirova crossed her arms with satisfaction. "Yes. That's what I thought."**

"Nice. So not even your cheap foreign labor wanted anything to do with you at first." Christian said.

Dimitri gave me a smile. "You grew on me quickly."

"I'm sure she did," Mom answered.

_**Oh, Lissa, **_**I thought. **_**Be careful. **_**Using compulsion on another Moroi was dangerous—particularly in front of witnesses. But Lissa was only using a tiny bit, and we needed all the help we could get. Fortunately, no one seemed to realize what was happening.**

"Very fortunate," Mom said, giving Lissa a disapproving look.

"I couldn't lose her," Lissa explained, sheepish.

**I started to say it wasn't generous at all, but then I caught Dimitri's gaze. It was hard to read. He might have been telling me he believed in me. He might have been telling me I was an idiot to keep fighting with Kirova. I didn't know.**

"I was telling you to shut up and take what you could get," Dimitri said.

"Of course you were."

**"Fine. I accept."**

Adrian marked the page and looked up. "End of chapter two." he said.

"And no closer to figuring out who it is," Sydney remarked.


	3. Chapter 3

We all looked at each other, but no one seemed to have any answers. Adrian shrugged and went back to reading.

**She and Dimitri didn't say anything and walked along almost like it was any other day. When we arrived, the reactions of my peers indicated it was anything but. They were in the middle of setting up when we entered the gym, and just like in the commons, all eyes fell on me. I couldn't decide if I felt like a rock star or a circus freak.**

**All right, then. If I was going to be stuck here for a while, I wasn't going to act afraid of them all anymore. Lissa and I had once held this school's respect, and it was time to remind everyone of that. Scanning the staring, openmouthed novices, I looked for a familiar face. Most of them were guys. One caught my eye, and I could barely hold back my grin.**

**"Hey Mason, wipe the drool off your face. If you're going to think about me naked, do it on your own time."**

"Naked?" my mom asked pointedly.

"I was young and careless." I answered defensively. "Listen, all this is in the past. You can't yell at me for something that happened that long ago."

She sighed. "Of course not."

**A few snorts and snickers broke the awed silence, and Mason Ashford snapped out of his haze, giving me a lopsided smile. With red hair that stuck up everywhere and a smattering of freckles, he was nice-looking, though not exactly hot. He was also one of the funniest guys I knew. We'd been good friends back in the day.**

**"This **_**is **_**my time, Hathaway. I'm leading today's session."**

**"Oh yeah?" I retorted. "Huh. Well, I guess this is a good time to think about me naked, then."**

**"It's **_**always **_**a good a time to think about you naked," added someone nearby, breaking the tension further. Eddie Castile. Another friend of mine.**

I had been watching Eddie until that last part. He had a haunted look in his eyes, one that I'm sure was reflected in my own. Mia reached over to grip his hand, mouth set in a grim line. I hoped Mason wasn't too present in these books; it had taken Eddie and me a long time to forgive ourselves for what we couldn't have changed. We had managed it, but both of us still ached at the reminder of him.

The rest of our group was staring at Eddie, too. I'm pretty sure it had more to do with his line in the book than the sad expression on his face, though.

"Why couldn't you have fallen for this young man?" Abe asked me. "Was it necessary for you to choose the one man who was absolutely off-limits?"

I raised my eyebrows at him.

He responded with "Ah, yes, why fall for a young man your own age when you can heap piles of trouble on someone too old for you?"

"Or just be faithful to the guy you were dating," added Adrian oh so helpfully.

"Just read." I said huffily.

He shrugged and continued.

**They're making me take extra practice sessions," I explained. Not that it mattered. I planned on getting Lissa and me out of here before these practices really became an issue. "I'll be ready."**

**"Extra sessions with who?"**

**"That tall guy. Dimitri."**

**Mason stopped walking and stared at me. "You're putting in extra time with Belikov?"**

**"Yeah, so what?"**

**"So the man is a **_**god."**_

**"Exaggerate much?" I asked.**

**"No, I'm serious. I mean, he's all quiet and antisocial usually, but when he fights…wow. If you think you're hurting now, you're going to be dead when he's done with you."**

"He had a point." I said, grinning at Dimitri.

"God?" he asked, a slight smile playing around his lips.

"Oh yes," I said.

"It's true," Eddie remarked. "The rest of us were always going back and forth between feeling sorry for Rose and being jealous of her. You were great, but none of us were really sure the pain would be worth what you could teach."

"Considering the circumstances, I'd be grateful it wasn't me if I were you," Christian said. "I mean, maybe I'm totally off-base about you, but I don't think you'd want to end up being Dimitri's sex kitten."

The room fell silent. He did _not_ just say that in front of my parents. I shot him daggers as Lissa nudged him with her elbow.

"Sex kitten?" Adrian asked.

I dared a glance at him and was surprised to see a small grin.

Jill was the first to laugh. We all just looked at her.

She tried to talk around the hysterical giggles. "It's funny, because—because I just saw what Adrian was—what he was visualizing. He—he has Eddie—" she began laughing even harder and couldn't get anything else out for a minute. It was pretty infectious, and we were all grinning tentatively. Finally she was able to catch her breath. "Adrian is picturing Eddie in one of those sexy cat costumes with the latex, holding a whip and lying on a rose-covered bed."

At that, the room filled with the sound of uncontrollable laughter as each of us envisioned the sight. Dimitri and my mom, always the stalwart Guardians, just waited quietly for everything to settle down. Eddie just looked embarrassed, but couldn't help a grin. He looked like a cute little boy just then, with his easy grin and barely-there blush.

Finally, we managed to pull ourselves together.

"Never a dull moment in the mind of Adrian Ivaskov," Adrian said lightly.

"Here, let me take a turn." Jill said, reaching for the book.

**Our instructor was Stan Alto, whom we referred to simply as "Stan" behind his back and "Guardian Alto" in formal settings. He was a little older than Dimitri, but not nearly as tall, and he always looked pissed off. Today, that look intensified when he walked into the classroom and saw me sitting there. His eyes widened in mock surprise as he circled the room and came to stand beside my desk.**

**"What's this? No one told me we had a guest speaker here today. Rose Hathaway. What a privilege! How very **_**generous **_**of you to take time out of your busy schedule and share your knowledge with us."**

"I always did hate him," I grumbled.

"Trust me, the feeling was mutual," Eddie answered.

**I swallowed back more swear words. "I watched the area whenever we went out," I said, needing to defend myself.**

**"Oh? Well that's something. Did you use Carnegie's Quadrant Surveillance Method or the Rotational Survey?"**

**I didn't say anything.**

**"Ah. I'm guessing you used the Hathaway Glance-Around-When-You-Remember-To Method."**

**"No!" I exclaimed angrily. "That's not true. I watched her. She's still alive, isn't she?"**

**He walked back up to me and leaned toward my face. "Because you got **_**lucky."**_

**"Strigoi aren't lurking around every corner out there," I shot back. "It's not like what we've been taught. It's safer than you guys make it sound."**

I blushed with shame as my mother's eyes bored holes into me. "Again, the past," I reminded her. "I've learned a lot since then." Her look turned into one of compassion as she regarded me. I can't read her like I can Lissa, but if I had to guess, I'd say her mind was on the attack on St. Vlad's.

**"You have no guarantees of being assigned to her, you know—for your field experience **_**or **_**after you graduate." Dimitri's voice was low and unapologetic. They hadn't given me a warm and fuzzy mentor.**

Christian and Mom snickered at that.

"He still isn't warm and fuzzy," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but he isn't the hard-ass you made him out to be, either." Christian responded.

It was my turn to snicker. "You want to bet?"

**"I wanted to tell you…" He spoke hesitantly. "I understand the gravity of what you did, but I think Headmistress Kirova failed to acknowledge something. You **_**did **_**keep Vasilisa safe all this time. That is impressive."**

**"Well, it's not like I faced down Strigoi or anything," I said.**

**"But you faced down some things?"**

**"Sure. The school sent psi-hounds once."**

I snorted angrily. "You mean _he_ sent them once." I glanced at Lissa, who had a wounded, far-away look on her face. My heart ached for her, and I was once again furious at whoever had written this and stirred up such awful memories.

**"It's…I don't know. I just sort of always have this hum of how she feels. Usually it's just emotions. We can't send messages or anything." I didn't tell him about slipping into her head. That part of it was hard even for me to understand.**

**"But it doesn't work the other way? She doesn't sense you?"**

**I shook my head.**

**His face shone with wonder. "How did it happen?"**

**"I don't know," I said, still glancing away. "Just started two years ago."**

**He frowned. "Near the time of the accident?"**

**Hesitantly, I nodded. The accident was **_**not **_**something I wanted to talk about, that was for sure. Lissa's memories were bad enough without my own mixing into them. Twisted metal. A sensation of hot, then cold, then hot again. Lissa screaming over me, screaming for me to wake up, screaming for her parents and her brother to wake up. None of them had, only me.**

**And the doctors said that was a miracle in itself. They said I shouldn't have survived.**

**Apparently sensing my discomfort, Victor let the moment go and returned to his earlier excitement.**

**"I can still barely believe this. It's been so long since this has happened. If it did happen more often…just think what it could do for the safety of all Moroi. If only others could experience this too. I'll have to do more research and see if we can replicate it with others."**

I shivered. "I had forgotten about that." I whispered.

Sydney gave me a questioning look. "I knew he wanted to make changes in our world. I knew he wanted Moroi to fight alongside the Guardians. But I forgot about him wanting to force bonds onto people."

Sonya said quietly "Even more reason for us to be glad he is gone from this world."

"I guess." I responded. His death still haunted me. Not because he was dead, but because _I _had done it. And it wasn't something I just blamed myself for, like with Mason. I had been the one to deliver the fatal blow.

**"It looks to **_**me **_**like it came from a garage sale. I thought a precious Dragomir would have standards." Scorn dripped off the word **_**Dragomir.**_

**Grabbing Doll Girl by the shoulder, I jerked her away. She was so light, she stumbled three feet and nearly fell.**

**"She does have standards," I said, "which is why you're done talking to her."**

I laughed. "Man, I'm witty," I said.

Lissa shook her head at me, but I caught the grin she tried to hide.

Mia just looked abashed. "I was such a _bitch_."

Christian piped up. "Bitches get all the friends, just look at Queen Bitch Rose."

I threw a cushion at him, wishing I had something that would hurt more. "Go to hell, Ozera."

Lissa cleared her throat. "Children!" she exclaimed, sobering us.

"So, three chapters in, and I have no clue who is writing this." I said, looking around the room.

"All the Spirit users you know are here," Mom mused.

"No they aren't." I said. It took me a moment to realize what I was saying.

"They _aren't_ all here," I repeated excitedly. "Oksana and Robert."

"Of course, Oksana." Abe said. "Didn't you say earlier that she has the ability to reach into other's minds?"

"Yeah, but don't go there old man. It isn't Oksana. She can't do it from a distance. She has to be in the room with someone in order to do it."

"Does Robert have that ability?" Adrian asked me.

"I don't know. He can heal, and he can walk dreams. But he isn't anywhere near Court; he's too paranoid."

"There's also Avery." Lissa said quietly.

"Avery is in Tarasov." Eddie said dismissively. "Or another prison just like it."

"Did any of our classmates fail to specialize?" this question was directed at the Moroi.

They thought for a moment. "No," Lissa answered sadly. "When we first learned of Spirit, the first thing we did was look for any Moroi on campus that was old enough and hadn't specialized."

"Well it has to be _someone_ we know." I said, frustrated.

"Maybe," Sydney said thoughtfully "it could be someone you _don't _know. Someone close to you physically, with a stronger gift than Oksana's. Perhaps someone on the periphery of your lives."

"That makes more sense than anything we've thought of so far," I admitted.

"That's because I always make more sense than you," Sydney pointed out with a small smile. "You aren't exactly known for your logic."

I grinned back. "But I make one heck of fighter."

"Yes you do." she said in a faux patronizing voice.

Cheered by this new lead, we eagerly began the next chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

**I crossed my arms across my chest. "Are you lost, little girl? The elementary school's over on west campus."**

**A pink flush spread over her cheeks. "Don't you ever touch me again. You screw with me, and I'll screw you right back."**

**Oh man, what an opening that was. Only a head shake from Lissa stopped me from unleashing any number of hilarious comebacks. Instead, I opted for simple brute force, so to speak.**

**"And if you mess with either of us again, I'll break you in half. If you don't believe me, go ask Dawn Yarrow about what I did to her arm in ninth grade. You were probably at nap time when it happened."**

"What happened to her arm?" Sydney inquired, not looking as if she was sure she wanted to know.

"Rose shoved her into a tree and broke her arm." Eddie answered a big grin on his face.

"Why?" she asked pointedly.

"She called me a skank." I said simply, smirking at the exasperated look on Lissa's face.

**The incident with Dawn hadn't been one of my finer moments. I honestly hadn't expected to break any bones when I shoved her into a tree. Still, the incident had given me a dangerous reputation, in addition to my smartass one. The story had gained legendary status, and I liked to imagine that it was still being told around campfires late at night. Judging from the look on this girl's face, it was.**

My smile faded. "To think that once upon a time, that was the worst thing I'd ever done." I sighed and leaned my head on Dimitri's shoulder.

**All Moroi had a small ability in each element. When they got to be around our age, students "specialized" when one element grew stronger than the others: earth, water, fire, or air. Not specializing was like not going through puberty.**

**And Lissa…well, Lissa hadn't specialized yet.**

**"Is Ms. Carmack still teaching that? What she'd say?"**

**"She says she's not worried. She thinks it'll come."**

**"Did you—did you tell her about—"**

**Lissa shook her head. "No. Of course not."**

**We let the subject drop. It was one we thought about a lot but rarely spoke of.**

"What didn't you tell Carmack about?" Adrian asked. Lissa just shook her head, and Sonya and I locked eyes for a moment.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly to both me and Lissa. I shook my head vehemently. "You were right. Don't forget that you probably saved her life."

She laughed softly without any real joy. "I did nothing but rave. You did the work.

"But you warned me. Without you, we would have never left."

**"Lissa!" came a nearby voice. Glancing over, we saw Natalie waving at us. Lissa and I exchanged looks. Natalie was sort of Lissa's cousin in the way Victor was sort of her uncle, but we'd never hung out with her all that much.**

**Lissa shrugged and headed in that direction. "Why not?"**

**I followed reluctantly. Natalie was nice but also one of the most uninteresting people I knew. Most royals at the school enjoyed a kind of celebrity status, but Natalie had never fit in with that crowd. She was too plain, too uninterested in the politics of the Academy, and too clueless to really navigate them anyway.**

A pang of regret ran through me. I honestly believe Natalie had been a good, sweet person; if her father had been more considerate and attentive, she would still be alive today. As it was, she was willing to do anything for a man who considered his own daughter expendable. My father was pretty much the farthest thing from a good example you could imagine, but he was willing to do anything for me. Hell, the man blew up _court_ and risked death by Strigoi in the middle of the night in the Siberian wilderness to keep me alive.

**"Hey, Natalie," I said, turning around and cutting her off. She didn't seem to notice or mind. "Who's Aaron's new girlfriend?"**

**"Huh? Oh. Mia Rinaldi." Seeing my blank look, she asked, "Don't you remember her?"**

**"Should I? Was she here when we left?"**

**"She's always been here," said Natalie. "She's only a year younger than us."**

**I shot a questioning look at Lissa, who only shrugged.**

"Oh, thanks." Mia blurted. I followed book-Lissa's lead and just shrugged.

"I knew who you were," Christian said in a smug voice.

"Who cares?" Mia said. Christian looked hurt, and she quickly amended "I didn't mean that. I only meant that you weren't popular back then, and if you weren't popular, I didn't care."

"I'm still not popular." Christian said sarcastically.

"Neither am I." I announced loudly, trying to make him feel better. "All the really cool kids are outcasts; haven't you figured that out yet? Me, you, Dimitri, so on and so forth."

"So where does that leave the Queen and I?" Adrian asked.

"You," I said in an exaggerated tone "are the exceptions to the rule. All rules have an exception, except this one is so exceptional it takes two to fully except it."

"That made absolutely no sense whatsoever," Sydney said after a moment of silence. "My head hurts so badly that you may have actually given me brain damage. Thanks."

I erupted in delighted laughter. "By God, Sydney Sage, I think you're learning." I turned to Adrian. "This is your doing, isn't it?"

He gave me a wide grin, saying "I aim to please."

"Anyway," Jill said impatiently, though she sent me a smile before continuing the story.

**My eyes lifted up from Natalie's face to Jesse Zeklos's, just as he passed by our table. Ah, Jesse. I'd forgotten about him. I liked flirting with Mason and some of the other novices, but Jesse was in an entirely different category. You flirted with the other guys simply for the sake of flirting. You flirted with Jesse in the hopes of getting semi-naked with him. He was a royal Moroi, and he was so hot, he should have worn a WARNING: FLAMMABLE sign. He met my eyes and grinned.**

I rolled my eyes. "_Not_ one of my finer moments. Can we skip this?"

"Of course not," Mia said in an offended tone. I think she just wanted some payback for all the horrible things I'd thought and said about her in this book so far.

**"All right," I told her when classes finally ended. We stood outside the school, and I was fully aware that in doing so, I was already breaking the terms of my agreement with Kirova. "We're not staying here," I told her, looking around the campus uneasily. I'm going to find a way to get us out."**

**"You think we could really do it a second time?" Lissa asked quietly.**

**"Absolutely." I spoke with certainty, again relieved she couldn't read my feelings. Escaping the first time had been tricky enough. Doing it again would be a real bitch, not that I couldn't still find a way.**

**"You really would, wouldn't you?" She smiled, more to herself than to me, like she'd thought of something funny. "Of course you would. It's just, well. . ." She sighed. "I don't know if we should go. Maybe—maybe we should stay."**

**I blinked in astonishment. "What?" Not one of my more eloquent answers, but the best I could manage. I'd never expected this from her.**

**"I saw you, Rose. I saw you talking to the other novices during class, talking about practice. You miss that."**

**"It's not worth it," I argued. "Not if…not if **_**you…**_**" I couldn't finish, but she was right. She'd read me. I **_**had **_**missed the other novices. Even some of the Moroi. But there was more to it than just that. The weight of my inexperience, how much I'd fallen behind, had been growing all day.**

**"It might be better," she countered. "I haven't had as many…you know, things happening in a while. I haven't felt like anyone was following or watching us."**

**I didn't say anything to that. Before we'd left the Academy, she'd always felt like someone was following her, like she was being hunted. I'd never seen evidence to support that, but I had once heard one of our teachers go on and on about the same sort of thing. Ms. Karp. She'd been a pretty Moroi, with deep auburn air and high cheekbones. And I was pretty sure she'd been crazy.**

**"You never know who's watching," she used to say, walking briskly around the classroom as she shut all the blinds. "Or who's following you. Best to be safe. Best to **_**always **_**be safe." We'd snickered amongst ourselves because that's what students do around eccentric and paranoid teachers. The thought of Lissa acting like her bothered me.**

I sent Sonya an apologetic look. I was _so_ going to kick the ass of whatever bitch decided to do this to me.

She waved off my apologies. "Don't worry. That's exactly what I was: a paranoid, crazy woman. I may have had my reasons, but without knowing that, how could you possibly think anything else?"

"Thanks." I said simply.

**"Yeah, but that was different." Her eyes stared off, not really focused on any one thing. "Here…**_**here **_**I've got to be a part of that. I can't avoid it."**

**"The hell you do. Natalie stays out of that stuff."**

**"Natalie isn't going to inherit her family's title," she retorted. "I've already got it. I've got to be involved, start making connections. Andre—"**

**"Liss," I groaned. "You **_**aren't **_**Andre." I couldn't believe she was still comparing herself to her brother.**

**"He was always involved in all that stuff."**

**"Yeah, well," I snapped back, "he's **_**dead **_**now."**

**Her face hardened. "You know, sometimes you aren't very nice."**

**"You don't keep me around to be nice. You want nice, there are a dozen sheep in there who would rip each other's throats to get in good with the Dragomir princess. You keep me around to tell you the truth, and here it is: Andre's dead. You're the heir now, and you're going to deal with it however you can. But for now, that means staying away from the other royals. We'll just lie low. Coast through the middle. Get involved in that stuff again, Liss, and you'll drive yourself…"**

_**"Crazy?" **_**she supplied when I didn't finish.**

"Wow." Mia said. "Harsh, even for you, Rose."

"I know." I said, ashamed of book-me.

"It was the truth," Lissa said calmly. "And you were right, I needed to hear that. Don't you _ever_ say sorry for saying or doing what's best for me, even if I can't see it."

"Throat- ripping sheep?" Eddie asked me.

"Got a better metaphor?" I shot back.

"Never." He answered, grinning. "From now on, the sheep I count while trying to sleep will be some bloodthirsty killers."

"You're welcome."

**Slipping through a doorway in the back of the chapel, she climbed a narrow set of creaky stairs up into the attic. Here it was dark and dusty. The only light came through a large stained-glass window that fractured the faint glow of sunrise into tiny, multicolored gems across the floor.**

**I hadn't known until that moment that this room was a regular retreat for Lissa. But now I could feel it, feel her memories of how she used to escape here to be alone and to think. The anxiety in her ebbed away ever so slightly as she took in the familiar surroundings. She climbed up into the window seat and leaned her head back against its side, momentarily entranced by the silence and the light.**

Hearing the description, I was pulled into that memory for just a moment. It was the first time she and Christian had ever talked. From the soft smiles on both Lissa's and Christian's faces, they were remembering that meeting too.

**And there were two ways to make a Strigoi. Strigoi could forcibly turn humans, dhampirs, or Moroi with a single bite. Moroi tempted by the promise of immortality could become Strigoi by choice if they purposely killed another person while feeding. Doing that was considered dark and twisted, the greatest of all sins, both against the Moroi way of life and nature itself. Moroi who chose this dark path lost their ability to connect with elemental magic and other powers of the world. That was why they could no longer go into the sun.**

**This is what had happened to Christian's parents. They were Strigoi.**

"Had been." Christian corrected book-me bitterly. "Of course the whole world gets to hear that."

"Sorry." I said.

He sighed. "Not your fault. Well, technically it is, but I don't blame you. Even if I did, I'm pretty sure I have no room to complain considering what this person wrote about you."

Very true. Eddie took the book from Jill and began the next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**OR RATHER, THEY **_**HAD **_**BEEN Strigoi. A regiment of guardians had hunted them down and killed them. If rumors were true, Christian had witnessed it all when he was very young. And although he wasn't Strigoi himself, some people thought he wasn't far off, with the way he always wore black and kept to himself.**

**Strigoi or not, I didn't trust him. He was a jerk, and I silently screamed at Lissa to get out of there—not that my screaming did much good. Stupid one-way bond.**

Lissa smiled. "You weren't the only one who hated it."

"Yeah, but we hated it for different reasons."

"At least it's gone now," Christian jumped in cheerily. "Especially knowing what a jerk Lissa's boyfriend is, right?"

"Yeah," I shot back. "Thank God I don't have to deal with you even when I'm not with you anymore."

"Well, neither of you have to worry about it anymore." Lissa said, exasperated.

It was weird that Sydney understood without a word how much I missed the bond; yet my best friend and ex-bondmate hadn't a clue. I had never been able to share my misery about the loss with Lissa. She had been so happy when we first realized what had happened. I had too, but the joy was quickly replaced with apprehension once I started considering the implications. Not only had I lost my connection with her—a connection deeper than the one I had ever known with Dimitri—but I had also lost the shadow-kissed effects. I was glad to lose the ghosts; they were dangerous and other than Mason had never been any kind of real help. My built-in Strigoi warning system had been awful to lose. I had been so used to nausea every time a Strigoi was close that the first time I had run into one after it had been able to get the jump on me. Luckily Dimitri had been with us and had sprung into action before I had the chance to react. After that, I had had to retrain myself to pay more attention to my surroundings.

**"Well, what about **_**you?" **_**he taunted. "Why are you up here? Don't you have parties to go to or lives to destroy?"**

**Some of Lissa's old spark returned. "Wow, that's hilarious. Am I like a rite of passage now? Go and see if you can piss off Lissa to prove how cool you are? Some girl I don't even know yelled at me today, and now I've got to deal with you? What does it take to be left alone?"**

**"Oh. So that's why you're up here. For a pity party."**

**"This isn't a joke. I'm serious." I could tell Lissa was getting angry. It was trumping her earlier distress.**

**He shrugged and leaned casually against the sloping wall. "So am I. I love pity parties. I wish I'd brought the hats. What do you want to mope about first? How it's going to take you a whole day to be popular and loved again? How you'll have to wait a couple weeks before Hollister can ship out some new clothes? If you spring for rush shipping, it might not be so long."**

Jill looked at Christian with wide eyes. She hadn't known him before he and Lissa had gotten together and was no doubt in shock at hearing a conversation in which his snark was turned her way.

Lissa smiled at the look on her sister's face. "Hard to believe, isn't it?"

"No kidding." Jill said, shaking her head.

**It occurred to Lissa at that moment—and me too by default—just how hard it might be to be Christian. Most of the time, people treated him like he didn't exist. Like he was a ghost. They didn't talk to or about him. They just didn't notice him. The stigma of his parents' crime was too strong, casting its shadow onto the entire Ozera family.**

"Actually, I preferred being ignored. If they didn't notice me they couldn't be assholes to me." He said.

The stigma still held, but people had begun to accept Christian—very slowly—since he and Lissa had first started dating. When his aunt had been found guilty of killing the former queen, there were those who had pitied him: very few kids had soulless parents and murderous mother-figures. There were also those who had never liked him to begin with who loudly proclaimed to anyone who glanced their way that any day he would rain destruction and death down on us all. Those of us who knew him well and cared for him simply stood by his side throughout the trial and execution, doing what we could to comfort him. Surprisingly, Christian had turned to Dimitri for the most support. They liked and respected each other, but they were closer to their girlfriends' best friends than they were each other. Yet somehow Christian seemed more comfortable with Dimitri when it came to Tasha's betrayal than he had even Lissa. Maybe it was because she and Dimitri had been friends for years before, or the fact that his aunt had been in love with Dimitri. Personally, I thought it was both of those in combination with Dimitri having been Strigoi. I think that knowing that Dimitri had done terrible things—things that Christian couldn't possibly think of—had made him the best candidate for the job. Sounds weird, but Christian had always been a little strange and always would be.

**"I…yeah. I was…I was with Lissa…" I put a hand to my forehead. I'd never had such a long or clear experience like that. "I was in her head."**

**"Her…head?"**

**"Yeah. It's part of the bond." I didn't really feel like elaborating.**

**"Is she all right?"**

**"Yeah, she's…" I hesitated. **_**Was **_**she all right? Christian Ozera had just invited her to hang out with him. Not good. There was "coasting through the middle," and then there was turning to the dark side.**

Christian glared at me, and I knew he was remembering the time I had lied to keep them from each other.

"Oh, yes." I said. "I hated you just as much in my mind as I did out loud."

He sighed and responded with "One thing you can always count on Rose for, she's honest. Crazy and unpredictable, but honest."

I gave him a real smile. "I like that. I think that will be my new motto, 'crazy, unpredictable, and honest.'"

**So I suggested to Dimitri that maybe he should let me off this time.**

**He laughed, and I was pretty sure it was **_**at **_**me and not **_**with **_**me.**

**"Why is that funny?"**

**"Oh," he said, his smile dropping. "You were serious."**

Dimitri chuckled. "I still have trouble telling the difference at times."

Eddie grinned up at him. "As do we all. I'm pretty sure my jaw hit the floor when she told me we were breaking Viktor out."

"I just calculate how crazy it is on a scale of one to twenty. Anything over twelve means she's dead serious and determined to get her way," Christian added helpfully.

"I always know from the moment she opens her mouth," Lissa said in a haughty tone that was pretty out of character for her. I shot her a mischievous grin.

**"How'd you end up as Lissa's guardian?" I asked. "You weren't here a few years ago. Were you even trained at this school?"**

**He didn't answer right away. I got the feeling he didn't talk about himself very often. "No. I attended the one in Siberia."**

**"Whoa. That's got to be the only place worse than Montana."**

**A glint of something—maybe amusement—sparked in his eyes, but he didn't acknowledge the joke.**

I laughed aloud. "God, I was always such a bitch about your home," I told him.

"You never make those jokes anymore," he pointed out.

I sobered. "I've been, remember? Siberia isn't so bad, and Baia—"my voice trailed off, a hint of nostalgia hitting me.

**He fell silent, his mind obviously somewhere else. The Moroi expected a lot from us, but they did recognize that the guardians were—more or less—only human. So, guardians got pay and time off like you'd get in any other job. Some hard-core guardians—like my mom—refused vacations, vowing never to leave their Moroi's sides. Looking at Dimitri now, I had a feeling he might very well turn into one of those. If he'd been away on legitimate leave, he could hardly blame himself for what happened to that guy. Still, he probably did anyway. I'd blame myself too if something happened to Lissa.**

"Little dhampir," Adrian said suddenly. My heart leapt a little at hearing the old nickname, but I just warily looked his way.

"When's the last time _you_ took a vacation?" I opened my mouth to answer, but he cut me off. "One that didn't include Lissa?"

I promptly closed it and tried frantically to come up with an answer. I didn't have one.

He gave me a smug look and said "Seems Janine and Belikov aren't the only ones with duty hang-ups."

Lissa laughed. "Oh God, Adrian, you're right!" her delighted look did _not _help.

Christian shook his head sadly. "She hasn't even done anything crazy in weeks. Nothing Rose level crazy since Liss was made queen."

I stared at everyone. Everything they said _should_ have been compliments, but they made it sound as if I was all wrong now.

I looked at Mom and said defensively "Maybe I've realized that my legendary stunts aren't worth the risk. I just decided that maybe I should follow more practical footsteps."

She smiled at that, and the warmth and pride in her eyes enveloped me. "And those of us who tend to be practical couldn't ask for a better protégé," she said softly; and it didn't matter anymore that I wasn't crazy Rose with her fun troublemaking schemes—it was enough that I did my job better than almost anyone else, and that I kept those I loved safe.

Her comment also made everyone else quiet down, chagrinned that they had taunted me over making the right decisions.

**How long did you hang out with him afterward?"**

**"Not that long. It was kind of…fun."**

**"Well, you can't do it again. If people find out you're hanging out with him, they'll crucify you." I eyed her warily. "You aren't, like, into him, are you?"**

**She scoffed. "No. Of course not.**

Lissa sent Christian an apologetic look as she faux-whispered "I was lying."

**He flashed me a smile but kept his hand on me. "Rose, tell Paul about the time you started the fight in Ms. Karp's class."**

**I cocked my head toward him, giving him a playful smile. "I started a lot of fights in her class."**

**"The one with the hermit crab. And the gerbil."**

I laughed, as did Eddie. Lissa just looked at the two of us sharply. "That was horrible." she said.

"Also, a Rose-worthy stunt." Eddie chuckled.

"What happened?" Abe asked, eyes betraying amusement.

"I'm about to read it," Eddie answered.

**"No. I just remember Karp freaking out." He turned toward Paul. "Man, you should have seen this messed-up teacher we used to have. Used to think people were after her and would go off on stuff that didn't make any sense. She was nuts. Used to wander campus while everyone was asleep."**

I sent Sonya an apologetic look, which she waved off gently.

"If you remember, Rose, I was rather crazy."

"But in your defense," Lissa injected "The things you said actually _were_ true."

Sonya only nodded, a little sadly I thought.

**He let go of my arm, looking disappointed, and ran a hand through his bronze-colored hair. Yeah. Not being able to hang out with him was a damned shame. I really would have to fix that someday. "Can't you ever get off for good behavior?" he joked.**

**I gave him what I hoped was a seductive smile as I found my seat. "Sure," I called over my shoulder. "If I was ever good."**

Mia rolled her eyes. "And you wonder why everyone was so willing to believe you were a slut."

I raised my eyebrows at her, and she blushed. "Yeah, I know, pot, kettle." She responded, pointing first at herself then at me.

"And on that note, it's my turn to read." She said as she reached for the book.


	6. Chapter 6

**"Does my house arrest mean I can't go to church?"**

**"I beg your pardon?"**

**"You said that whenever I'm not in class or practice, I have to stay in the dorm. But what about church on Sundays? I don't think it's really fair to keep me away from my religious…um, needs." Or deprive me of another chance— no matter how short and boring—to hang out with Lissa.**

**She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "I wasn't aware you had any religious needs."**

**"I found Jesus while I was gone."**

Christian snorted at that as I shrugged.

"Hey, it gave me more time to socialize."

**"Following God's path is never easy," the priest was saying. "Even St. Vladimir, this school's own patron saint, had a difficult time. He was so filled with spirit that people often flocked around him, enthralled just to listen and be in his presence. So great was his spirit, the old texts say, that he could heal the sick. Yet despite these gifts, many did not respect him. They mocked him, claiming he was misguided and confused."**

"Hard to believe that the answer was right there the entire time," Lissa said softly.

**"…and so it was with shadow-kissed Anna."**

**I jerked my head up. I had no idea what the priest was talking about now, because I hadn't been listening for some time. But those words burned into me. **_**Shadow-kissed. **_**It had been a while since I heard them, but I'd never forgotten them. I waited, hoping he'd continue, but he'd already moved on to the next part of the service. The sermon was over.**

I looked up to see that Jill's eyes had settled on me. Her eyes showed compassion, and I couldn't tell if it was due to what we all knew was coming in the books in my dealing with learning about Spirit and the bond or the fact that mine was gone. Probably both. Sydney had told me that Jill was managing her own bond well, but I still felt a surge of protectiveness and wished that I could do more to help her, and that she wouldn't worry about me. That was Jill, though. It was a trait she shared with Lissa, and I wondered how my best friend couldn't see a little bit of herself in Jill.

**Seeing me stroll over, she turned to me. "Rose, you're never going to believe this. "You know Abby Badica? And Xander? Their guardian wants to resign. And marry **_**another **_**guardian."**

**Now **_**this **_**was exciting gossip. A scandal, actually. "Seriously? Are they, like, going to run off together?"**

**She nodded. "They're getting a house. Going to get jobs with humans, I guess."**

**I glanced at Aaron, who had suddenly turned shy with me there. "How are Abby and Xander dealing with that?"**

**"Okay. Embarrassed. They think it's stupid." Then he realized who he was speaking to. "Oh. I didn't mean—"**

**"Whatever." I gave him a tight smile. "It **_**is **_**stupid."**

I tightened my hand around Dimitri's. "Not so stupid," I said softly, gazing at him.

Sonya smiled softly and said "Some things are worth losing all else to cling to."

Mom and Abe were sitting side by side, so I got a double dose of the identical looks of consternation.

"You are together and still do your jobs," Mom pointed out. "No need to run off."

"Because we're assigned to Moroi who respect us and how we feel." I responded. "I doubt those Guardians had understanding charges who actually cared about them or their feelings."

"True," Eddie said. "We're some pretty lucky Guardians."

**"That wasn't an attack," she scoffed. "And it wasn't me. It was an act of God."**

**A few others laughed, much to her delight. In my imagination, I responded with, **_**So is this, **_**and then slammed her into the side of the church. In real life, Lissa simply nudged me and said, "Let's go."**

Lissa cringed at hearing my mental response from so long ago, and Mia actually paled. She looked up and said "Sorry."

I shrugged it off. "Ancient history."

**I hunkered down in my seat, glancing around warily. "There are so many people here today, it'll take them a while to notice me. God, I'm so sick of being locked away. And it's only been a week."**

**"I'm sick of it too. We missed you last night. A bunch of us went and shot pool in the rec room. Eddie was on fire."**

**I groaned. "Don't tell me that. I don't want to hear about your glamorous social life."**

**"All right." He propped his elbow up on the table and rested his chin in his hand. "Then tell me about Mia. You're just going to turn around and punch her one day, aren't you? I think I remember you doing that at least ten times with people that pissed you off."**

**"I'm a new, reformed Rose," I said, doing my best impression of demure. Which wasn't very good. He emitted a choking sort of laugh. "Besides, if I do that, I'll have broken my probation with Kirova. Gotta walk the straight and narrow."**

**"In other words, find some way to get back at Mia that you won't get in trouble for."**

**I felt a smile tug at the corners of my lips. "You know what I like about you, Mase? You think just like I do."**

I smiled fondly at the memory. Mason really had been a lot like me. He was devoted to his friends, always looking for some kind of trouble to get into, and serious about his studies. Well, his Guardian ones at least; once again, just like me.

"He always knew how to lift my mood," I mused aloud. Lissa and Christian were giving me odd looks.

"What?" I asked them.

No one said anything for a moment. "I think that's the first time you've been able to talk about him since, you know—without sounding heartbroken." Christian finally said, Lissa nodding hopefully beside him.

I had no idea what to say to that, so I said nothing, looking at Mia expectantly.

She continued.

**I batted my eyelashes. "Can you resist this face?"**

**He took a moment to study me. "No. I can't, actually. Okay, here you go: Mia isn't royal."**

**I slouched back in my chair. "No kidding. I already knew that. I've known who's royal since I was two."**

**"Yeah, but there's more than just that. Her parents work for one of the Drozdov lords." I waved my hand impatiently. A lot of Moroi worked out in the human world, but Moroi society had plenty of jobs for its own kind too. Someone had to fill them. "Cleaning stuff. Practically servants. Her dad cuts grass, and her mom's a maid."**

"_He_ started that rumor?" Mia exclaimed loudly. "Oh, I'd like to—" she stopped, realizing who she was talking about and the impossibility for her to get any kind of revenge.

I gave her a look. "I didn't think you still cared about that crap."

"I don't," she said sheepishly "It's just that thanks to his big mouth, my life was hell for the rest of my time there."

"Thank my mouth," I said stoutly. "Mason only told me to cheer me up. I told Jesse with every intention of his running his big, idiot mouth to everyone he came across."

She laughed. "I've got to hand it to you Rose, you're an expert when it comes to people talking."

I joined in her laughter "You mean because my name spends so much time in other people's mouths?"

_**And with Vladimir always is Anna, the daughter of Fyodor. Their love is as chaste and pure as that of brother and sister, and many times has she defended him from Strigoi who would seek to destroy him and his holiness. Likewise, it is she who comforts him when the spirit becomes too much to bear, and Satan's darkness tries to smother him and weaken his own health and body. This too she defends against, for they have been bound together ever since he saved her life as a child. It is a sign of God's love that He has sent the blessed Vladimir a guardian such as her, one who is shadow-kissed and always knows what is in his heart and mind.**_

"Our big old clue; not so much slapping us in the face as taking a sledgehammer to it." I said, frustrated with book-me.

Lissa laughed. "It all works itself out, Rose, quit looking like you plan to bitch-slap your old self."

_**Bound together **_**and **_**always knows what is in his heart and mind.**_

**They had a bond, I realized. I would have bet everything I owned—which wasn't much—on it. The revelation was astonishing. There were lots of vague stories and myths about how guardians and Moroi 'used to have bonds.' But this was the first I'd ever heard of anyone specific that it had happened to.**

**Mason had noticed my startled reaction. "You okay? You look kind of weird."**

**I shrugged it off. "Yeah. Fine."**

"So ends chapter six." Mia announced. "And on a happy note, you didn't need that sledgehammer after all."


	7. Chapter 7

"This is getting us nowhere." I whined. "Can we just forget about reading that garbage and just focus on figuring out who wrote it?"

"And how do you expect to do that, with no clues as to who the culprit could be?" Dimitri asked calmly.

I threw my hands up and exclaimed "God, I don't know. All I know is that someone out there is using me and might decide to do something crazy to threaten all of us, and I'm stuck sitting on my ass reading a damn book."

"Rose," Lissa said softly; almost hesitantly. Just as she used to when Spirit's darkness would take over me. Until that moment, I hadn't realized how loud and angry I sounded. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, forcing my hands to unclench before speaking.

"You know I can't stand that, Liss. I can't be still and calm and patient when someone is threatening everything I love. I have to _do_ something."

"Eat." Christian said, so abruptly that I was thrown off-guard for a moment. "We haven't eaten in hours," he said in a brisk tone completely unlike him. "We go to dinner, relax, and come back in the morning."

"Good idea," Sydney quickly agreed. "I'm starving."

I stared at her. "Aren't you always? If you're hungry I'm pretty sure I can find a mint somewhere for you to nibble on. That'll keep _you_ full for a couple days."

She raised her eyebrows pointedly. "Well, _you_ definitely need to get something in your stomach. You're mean when you haven't eaten."

Adrian snorted. "Rose is mean all the time. Luckily for her, she's funny and pretty enough that most people just ignore that part. Idiots."

I grinned at him. "You never seemed to mind some abuse yourself, Ivashkov."

He gave me that devastating smile that weakened the knees of every girl and I felt my heart lift, despite my empty stomach and overall foul mood. "That's because in my particular case it was just foreplay."

Christian laughed at that, and Lissa gave Adrian a bright smile. I looked at Dimitri, expecting to see eyes rolling at our childishness. Instead, I found a smile in those eyes and the hints of a grin tugging on his lips. He gently squeezed my hand in understanding.

Meanwhile, Adrian and I were receiving some suspicious looks from both Abe and Mom. "Foreplay?" Abe asked in an almost growl.

Adrian looked taken aback, but I jumped in. "He meant foreplay in the sense of 'before we dated'; so back off. We never went there."

"No, she was too busy screwing Belikov to give her boyfriend any." I looked at Jill, shocked to hear the resentful tone in her voice.

The cold look she gave me in return made me want to hide. But really, what had I expected? She was bound to Adrian and was constantly bombarded with his thoughts and feelings. Of course she would resent me; if Christian had cheated on Lissa and broke her heart I would have killed him. All things considered, I think I got off kind of easy.

Sydney shifted uncomfortably next to me and I saw Jill's eyes flicker toward her a moment before Jill lowered her head. "Sorry, Rose." She said softly.

I sighed. "It's okay. I get it." Our eyes met and I saw the weight of Adrian's emotions in hers. I was glad she was alive; even happier that she seemed to be getting along well and having fun, but I wished that she could have a normal teenage experience. I had been just fine bonded to Lissa, but it was different; we had been best friends, inseparable countless years before the bond, but Jill was bonded with a half-crazed drunk. I loved Adrian, but he wasn't a good person for her to be able to delve into.

"Dinner?" Mia asked helpfully, and I was grateful for the change in subject.

"Right, I vote Mexican." I said, ignoring Christians moans.

"You _always_ vote Mexican," he grumbled.

"That's because I'm always outvoted." I pointed out. "Maybe if someone would let me eat it once in a while—" I let the sentence hang.

"We ate Mexican two nights ago." Dimitri said.

I glared. "Hey, whose side are you on? I'm your girlfriend."

"And I'm his boss," Christian crowed. "Pretty sure that outweighs girlfriend."

Lissa leaned to one side and gave him a look. "Oh, really?"

He grinned "Not counting you, of course."

"Why does _she_ get special treatment?" I huffed.

"Because technically, she _is _my boss. You know, being Queen and all."

I shut up, unable to come up with a decent argument.

"So," Eddie said from his spot on the floor. "We know what we're not eating; how about we figure out what we _are_ before I starve."

After some bickering and arguing (mainly Christian and myself—having lost the Mexican war I thought it was only fair to protest any choices of his vehemently) we finally decided on an Italian café.

Since we were trying to keep the books a secret, we spent dinner talking about everything else that we hadn't gotten around to earlier. It was nice to have the old gang back; I didn't realize how much I missed having Eddie, Jill, and even Adrian around. Of course, it was always good to get time with my Mom. And although I would never admit it aloud—it was really good to get time with Abe, too. The old man was a crime boss, I just knew it, but I got my cunning and scheming genes straight from him and it was nice to not be the one everyone looked at warily for once.

At one point a Moroi couple was seated at the closest booth to our long table, where they could easily see Dimitri's hand resting lightly on my knee under the table. They shot scandalized glances our way as they whispered vehemently to each other. I smiled at them and refrained from planting myself on Dimitri's lap for a long, not suitable for public kiss. I was glad his back was to them; although he never said anything, I knew those kinds of people bothered him. I turned to listen to a story Mia and Christian were telling about their classes.

"I don't care," the woman finally snapped at her companion. "They have no business acting like that in public. It's shameful; I can't believe the Queen would allow such dishonorable dhampirs in her presence; let alone put her life in their hands."

Christian froze mid-sentence, and I felt my temperature rise. Lissa looked wounded, as if what the woman said was directed at her and not me. No one at the table moved for a full ten seconds. We all seemed suspended, waiting on someone to make the first move.

Surprisingly, Adrian was the one to break first. He lazily lifted his glass to his lips to take a long drink before setting it down again.

"You know," he said, looking at me. "I can't think of anything ruder than talking ill of the Queen sitting mere feet from you. Besides, of course, speaking of her best friend as if she were yesterday's trash."

The woman quickly looked around. Apparently, she hadn't noticed that Lissa was amongst the large group seated at the table beside her. When she spotted Lissa, she flushed and pressed her lips tight.

I met Adrian's steady gaze. It was if he was silently telling me that I was okay, that the woman was wrong and only a fool would be unable to see that. That somehow, he had begun the process of forgiving me for what I had done—that he was a friend that I could trust and depend on.

Mia spoke up then. "It's interesting—" she mused. "Moroi look down on dhampirs for having lasting relationships with one another, yet the only thing more scandalous is dating one of us. And humans and Strigoi—well, we all know that that just doesn't happen."

I was watching the woman out of the corner of my eye and saw the flush grow brighter.

"It's like we're telling you that you aren't good enough to be loved." She, like Adrian, steadily met my gaze, giving me strength and friendship. "And that's bullshit. Everyone deserves to be loved; you found that, and you'd better not let it go." She finished with a small smile.

I took a deep breath and willed myself not to burst into tears as I clasped the hand Dimitri had had on my knee and brought both hands to the table top, not caring what anyone thought. The people that mattered to me couldn't care less.

Lissa uneasily looked at the woman. I knew exactly how she was feeling. She was a Spirit-user, and that meant that she was highly charismatic and knew how to sway people. She could stand in front of the entire Moroi world and give a speech regarding the most dangerous political stances without a second thought. Usually, I was the one defending in situations like this. Book-Rose would have broken the woman's arm in a heartbeat; I was more mature, more controlled. I understood what book-me hadn't: there are some battles that can't be fought or won with fists. This time it was Lissa's turn to defend me, and I had to let her have the moment. She turned her gaze to me, conveying the messages I had already seen in everyone's eyes and a thousand more. I couldn't read her mind anymore, but I didn't need to. I knew her, just as she knew me. And what we both knew is that we would fight to the end for each other—me with fists and weapons, her with words and truth.

"I'm sorry," she said to the woman "May I ask your name?"

The woman looked hesitantly at her companion, who responded "Tara Zeklos, Your Highness. I am her husband, Joseph."

Understanding flashed in the quick looks Lissa and I gave each other. We had gone to school with their son, Jesse. His dad seemed kind of ashamed of the whole spectacle; my guess is that he got his better than thou attitude from his mother.

"Well, Mrs. Zeklos, there is a very good reason I allow such '_dishonorable'_" she said that last word with very visible disdain "dhampirs close. How well do you know your Guardians?"

Mrs. Zeklos looked surprised at the question. She glanced at the man seated at the next table. Obviously, like their son, this couple preferred the 'seen and not heard' type of guarding.

"Guardian Toliver has been with us for about ten years now." She responded.

"That's not what I asked," Lissa insisted. "What's his favorite color? Who are his parents? Does he prefer Mexican—" she shot me a smile "or Chinese food? What kind of books does he read?"

"I—I don't see how any of this is relevant," the woman said, clearly confused.

"Exactly. Guardian Hathaway loves the color red. Her mother is Janine Hathaway, her father Ibrahim Mazur; both of which have joined us for dinner. Rose would eat Mexican three meals a day if we let her, and she doesn't much care for reading—and if I had to pick a favorite type of book for her, it would have to be ridiculous vampire novels."

I shrugged "I do love laughing at the idea of Christian all sparkly."

He grinned. "And according to that particular book, you would fall in love with Lassie."

I snorted and threw a roll at him.

"My point," Lissa said, giving us her 'mom' look "is that Rose is my best friend."

"With all due respect, Your Highness, friendship isn't enough to make up for all the trouble she has caused and continues to cause."

"She has saved my life—and those of others—so often that we've lost count. She is not _dishonorable_." Lissa's voice had risen throughout her rant, and now, as if speaking loudly wasn't enough to get her point across, she had risen and was standing with both hands planted firmly on the table. "She is the most honorable person I have ever known, one of the best Guardians I will ever meet, and the most respectable individual you will ever have the honor of sharing a room with. And if she chooses to enter a relationship with anyone, I will feel nothing but the happiness of knowing that my best friend has someone to love her. I wouldn't care if she chose to live with the Pope."

I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I stared at my best friend; I could almost see the golden aura I knew she had blazing like the sun itself.

"This is why people oppose your rule," Mrs. Zeklos said simply. "You are too young to comprehend the grave nature of your position and the rules that govern us. You wish to change centuries of tradition, and for what? Because you are young and do not use your head. You think that everyone should be able to do as they wish, to live happily ever after. Let me tell you what that will get you. It will get you killed. Eventually, these dhampirs will decide one day that their romance is more important than their jobs, and you will pay the price for their happiness with your life."

Abe spoke with a false calm, one that said a storm was coming; I recognized it because it was the same tone I used right before I blew.

"Are you questioning my daughter's sense of duty, Tara?"

She met his gaze. "I am." Her husband paled slightly.

"Enough of this," he told her, reaching for her forearm.

She shook him off. "No, I will not be silent because some fool who likes to pretend he is of any importance glares at me."

Abe's mouth widened into a cold, menacing smile. "I can do much more than glare, if you so wish."

"Stop!" I exclaimed. Everyone turned to me in surprise. I glared at my father, pointing a finger at his seat. He took the cue and sat down, looking chagrinned at taking orders from his daughter.

I turned to Mrs. Zeklos. "You're entitled to your opinion. I'm worthless, yada yada, don't really care what you think of me. You've said your piece, now shut the hell up and let us enjoy the evening. If you do so, I'll keep good old dad from breaking your kneecaps when no one's looking."

She reddened again. "And what makes you think that you can give me orders?"

I steadily met her gaze. "Because as Queen Vasilissa's Guardian on duty, it is my job to make sure that not only is she safe from bodily harm, but harassment as well. If you choose to challenge me, I'll just have to demand that you be removed from this establishment. Of course, your husband would be welcome to stay if he wished, seeing as he has three times the common sense as you do. I'm guessing Toliver is his Guardian and not yours, though, which means you would be travelling back home by yourself since his charge would be remaining here." I gave her my best Abe smile "And who knows what a troublemaking dhampir with no sense of duty would do between now and your arrival at home."

She clamped her mouth shut and turned to face her menu. Toliver gave me a thumb-up and a grin, and I gave him a nod in response.

Later, while his wife was in the bathroom, Lord Zeklos leaned over to quietly apologize.

"No problem, I guess," I responded, confused.

"Tara doesn't know when to just let things go, and she doesn't have a respectful bone in her body. She had no right to say any of the things she did."

I looked him over and he seemed truly contrite. "I can't say that I agree with everything you or the Queen say or do," he continued "but she has been a good Queen so far, and no matter what one thinks of your personal life, you have proven yourself a worthy Guardian."

"Thank you," I said warmly. "I really do appreciate your saying so."

He nodded, and we both went back to our meals. Dimitri had heard and was grinning. "Can't I take you anywhere without you causing a scene?" he asked.

I returned the smile and responded "Blame Zmey; I got it from him."

Later that night, after Dimitri had fallen asleep, I lay beside him thinking about the day. Having all the thoughts and feelings of that time in my life revisited was more than disturbing. Remembering the kind of person I used to be—wild and disrespectful indeed—was always happening; I had Lissa and Christian to constantly comment on how I had changed and Dimitri had certainly diminished his amount of Zen lessons. Secretly, I wanted those days back though. I missed speaking my mind. I did among friends, sure, but with Lissa in the most powerful position possible in our world even her guardians had to tread lightly. My job didn't so much require guarding her from bodily harm as be respectful and quiet when in the presence of others. At court, we dhampirs were more for show than anything else.

Finally, with thoughts of days gone by churning in my mind, I drifted to sleep.

Just to find myself standing in the flower garden outside Lissa's bedroom. My eyes scanned the garden looking for Adrian. I had been in enough Spirit dreams to recognize one. Finally, my eyes landed on someone sitting on a bench a few feet from me; not Adrian, but Lissa.

"Liss?" I asked when she grinned at me.

"I did it." she said, pride written all over her face.

I walked over to sit next to me and put an arm around her. "Nice. Sonya's lessons worked."

She nodded. "Adrian was great to work with, but he isn't much of a teacher. It took a lot of work with Sonya, but we finally got it."

"How long?" I asked.

"A couple of weeks. I still need work though. I can't control where the dream is, or what anyone is wearing, but I can target someone and walk their dreams. I've visited Adrian a few times."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to practice first, to completely get control of it before telling anyone."

"What changed your mind?"

"The book."

I gave her a questioning look.

She looked down at her hands folded in her lap. "I spent years being angry and upset because someone knew what was going on in my head all the time. Now I don't have to worry about it anymore and I feel—free."

"Liss—"

"Let me finish." She interrupted. "Today I listened to _your _mind. Years later, I get to glimpse inside your head. And you hate it, just like I did. You know what it feels like and you know that we have to keep doing it. I figure the least I could do is give you some of my mind willingly."

I stared at her. "You think that all I feel is anger and resentment?"

She looked taken aback. "Well, yes. No, not _all_, but most of it. We get to know all those little secrets you don't want anyone to know. I know how you feel because I've felt that way too."

I felt a spark of anger. "You have no idea how I feel."

"No?" she asked calmly.

"No!" I yelled. "I feel lost! I feel like my whole world has turned upside down and I don't know how to fix it. I look at Jill and wish I were her. I see the bond between her and Adrian and I can't help but hate them because I used to have that. I used to have a connection to you that meant we would always be together no matter what. I listen to what I felt back then and it _hurts_ me because I will never have that again."

She was obviously shocked and I'm not sure which surprised her more; my words or the tears running down my face.

"But you always hated the bond. I thought you were happy when it was gone."

I looked at her. "No, Liss, you always hated it, and you were happy when it was gone. There were times I wished I didn't have it, and I was excited about all the possibilities when I first realized it wasn't there anymore. But you know what changed when the bond left? Nothing. I was still your guardian. I'm still doing the same job I was going to do beforehand, I still have to deal with your emotions. I get to be there to hold your hand and tell you everything is going to be okay. I still have to protect you from everything that comes your way, except now I don't get to see half the things that are coming. I don't get nauseous around Strigoi anymore, so there's that early warning system gone. If I'm not right there when it happens, I don't know when someone upsets you, so there goes that one too. We never get to talk anymore because you're Queen and are always busy doing something with someone else. One of those books is going to start talking about our lack of communication once upon a time, and even without talking, book-me is _still _going to know about your life and your thoughts. Real Rose barely gets honorable mention anymore."

We were silent a few moments. Finally, Lissa responded. "Well, it's good to know that you have to be snooping inside my head to be happy."

I stared at her incredulously. "My 'snooping' has saved your life time after time, Lissa. If it weren't for me, Victor would have either tortured you to death or you'd still be locked up in hiding somewhere and he would be king. And remember when you slit your wrists? When Jesse and his group tortured you? When Avery tried to compel you to _jump out a window_? When Dimitri kidnapped you? God, Liss, I've saved your life so often that my _molnijas_ don't tell a quarter of my battles. Why do you think I want the bond back so badly? Because I did a better job protecting you when we had it. Without it, I'm just another Guardian."

"Maybe all I want is a Guardian."

"Good. It's about time you turned into the Queen assholes like Tara want. You can have just a Guardian, find yourself another best friend."

"Rose, that's not what I meant."

I stood and turned to look down on her. "It's what you said." I responded softly, my heart breaking. "Now let me go to sleep."

Eyes wide, Lissa allowed the dream to fade.


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up the next morning in a foul mood. I had had nightmares for the first time in months after Lissa had left me.

I had dreamed that Christian had become Strigoi and tore Lissa's throat open with his fangs. I dreamed that I didn't know it had happened until I brought her breakfast in bed the next morning and found her lying in her blood soaked sheets. Dimitri stood beside me and told me it was my fault, that if I hadn't removed our bond I could have saved the Queen. Mikhail and Eddie took me to a guillotine and placed my head in the notch. Jill was standing in front of me, eyes haunted as she told me 'you should have saved her.' I heard the blade start its descent and my head was in a basket. Then Lissa, in her bloody nightgown stood over me, crying and begging me to forgive her, to live.

I sat up in my bed, covered in sweat and stared at nothing in particular. Dimitri came out of the bathroom, naked and scrubbing his hair with a towel.

When he saw my face, he sat next to me and asked what had happened. I told him of my conversation with Lissa, then my nightmare. I felt tears start to glisten in my eyes when he wrapped his arms around me and held tight.

"It's just a dream, Rose. She's okay. _You're_ okay."

"But that's how I feel." I sobbed. "Every day I wake up without a bond I think 'if something happens, it will be my fault'."

He made quieting sounds as his hand caressed my back. "I'm here, Rose. I understand."

And I realized that, even though he didn't completely understand, he did at the same time. His first assignment had died while Dimitri was off-duty, and some part of him had never quite quit blaming himself for not being there. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held tightly for a few moments.

Finally I sighed, saying "We need to get over there."

He pulled back and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. "The two of you will make up. You always do."

I nodded and rose to get in the shower myself.

Thankfully, we weren't the first to arrive. Relief flooded me as I walked in to find Sydney and Mia already there, discussing some Alchemist potion Sydney swore was great for using on dry hair with split ends. Mia thanked her as she sniffed the bottle Sydney had handed her.

"Good morning, sunshine." Mia proclaimed when she saw me.

Sydney rolled her eyes as she said "Good night, unholy abomination."

Mia gave her a funny look. I grinned "Private joke. Hello, fanatic." And plopped down beside her.

Dimitri asked "Where are Lissa and Christian?"

"Out getting donuts." Mia answered. "Rose, I wanted to run something by you. I've been working on my offense abilities. How does a whirlpool sound?"  
"Whirlpool?" I asked doubtfully. "Not sure how many Strigoi are going to be swimming when they attack…"

She grinned as she raised one finger and waved it around in circles. Little droplets were beginning to form and as I watched they gained in size and speed. Finally, she flicked her finger in my direction and was bombarded with spinning drops. Those little suckers had some real speed, too. I found myself being whipped around before the droplets dissolved.

I stared at her. "How?" I demanded. She shrugged. I just pulled the moisture from the air, easy. Now if you're outside it's a real advantage, because you can pull from the clouds."

We high-fived, and even Dimitri looked impressed. "You are one kick-ass Moroi," I told Mia. "I swear, one of these days me, you, and Christian are going to go hunting."

She laughed at that. "I take it you've been doing the whole 'good Guardian, listen to rules' thing too long. You're starting to get that gleam in your eye."

"What gleam?" Sydney asked.

"The one that says if it's dangerous, stupid and against the rules, I'm game."

"Hmm. I didn't realize it got a special look, seeing as that's always her life."

I gave Sydney a haughty look. "I haven't been in trouble for almost a year." I frowned for a moment, remembering the Spirit dream. "Maybe I should run off and do something crazy."

"That's what I like to hear." A voice came from the door. Christian was holding about five boxes of donuts and sat them on the table. "Can I come?"

"Well, the plan is kind of contingent on your presence," Mia answered.

"Nice. What am I doing?"

"We're going Strigoi hunting." I said.

"Ahh," Christian answered "I heard they were coming into season in a few days. We'll have to get our licenses renewed. Although my sources say there is no limit this year."

"What are you talking about?" Lissa said from behind him, a small smile playing at her lips.

"Strigoi season." He said simply. "Mia, Rose and I are making a trip of it this year. Want to come?"

She just shook her head and picked a glazed donut out of a box.

Eventually everyone showed up, and the discussion on Strigoi hunting came to an end. Too bad, because I was really liking the sound of it.

"Rose," Mom asked. "Are you alright? You look pale."

"I'm fine. Bad dreams." I responded.

Lissa tried to look at me, but I refused to meet her gaze.

"We were on Chapter seven, right?" Sonya asked, reaching for the book.

"Let me," I answered, taking it. "I figure I should be the one to_ give my mind willingly_."

I looked at Lissa as I said that and I saw her flush. I opened the book and began reading.

**Three weeks after my return to the Academy, I walked into the gym before school one day and found him sprawled on a mat, reading a Louis L'Amour book. Someone had brought in a portable CD player, and while that cheered me up at first, the song coming from it did not: "When Doves Cry" by Prince. It was embarrassing to know the title, but one of our former housemates had been obsessed with the '80s.**

"Laura," Lissa said in response to the book. "She was always searching through vintage thrift stores, trying to find the latest 'gem' from the days of big hair and leg-warmers."

**"Whoa, Dimitri," I said, tossing my bag on the floor. "I realize this is actually a current hit in Eastern Europe right now, but do you think we could maybe listen to something that wasn't recorded before I was born?"**

Dimitri chuckled. "I could always count on you make some joke about Russia being behind the times."

I shook my head and grinned. "Who knew you had such awful taste all by yourself."

**"So tell me this: suppose you manage to kidnap her again and take her off to the mall. While you're there, a Strigoi comes at you. What will you do?"**

**"Depends on what store we're in."**

**He looked at me.**

**"Fine. I'll stab him with a silver stake."**

**Dimitri sat up now, crossing his long legs in one fluid motion. I still couldn't figure out how someone so tall could be so graceful. "Oh?" He raised his dark eyebrows. "Do you have a silver stake? Do you even know how to use one?"**

**I dragged my eyes away from his body and scowled. Made with elemental magic, silver stakes were a guardian's deadliest weapon. Stabbing a Strigoi through the heart with one meant instant death. The blades were also lethal to Moroi, so they weren't given out lightly to novices. My classmates had just started learning how to use them. I'd trained with a gun before, but no one would let me near a stake yet. Fortunately, there were two other ways to kill a Strigoi.**

**"Okay. I'll cut his head off."**

**"Ignoring the fact that you don't have a weapon to do that, how will you compensate for the fact that he may be a foot taller than you?"**

**I straightened up from touching my toes, annoyed. "Fine, then I'll set him on fire."**

**"Again, with what?"**

**"All right, I give up. You've already got the answer. You're just messing with me. I'm at the mall and I see a Strigoi. What do I do?"**

**He looked at me and didn't blink. "You run."**

Eddie laughed as he looked at Dimitri. "You told her to _run_? Rose hasn't run from anything a day in her life."

"I ran once," I said softly, looking down at the pages. "and I managed to get away. I killed a piece of myself, but I ran. All the time, I was thinking about that day in the gym."

I looked up at Dimitri then, and the haunted memory of that night flickered in his eyes too. That was a piece of me that I hadn't shared; one glimpse into my mind that I hadn't and didn't want to share.

The room had gone silent, and I hastily began reading again.

**And that's when it happened.**

**I felt like someone had shot me. Sharp and biting, terror exploded in my body and in my head. Small razors of pain. My vision blurred, and for a moment, I wasn't standing there. I was running down a flight of stairs, scared and desperate, needing to get out of there, needing to find…me.**

I hesitated over the paragraph, remembering the conversation from the night before. Remembered what it was like to slam into Lissa's mind, to know where she was and what she needed before it could get any worse. Remembering that I used to be able to protect her, body _and_ mind.

**My vision cleared, leaving me back on the track and out of Lissa's head. Without a word to Dimitri, I tore off, running as fast as I could toward the Moroi dorm. It didn't matter that I'd just put my legs through a mini-marathon. They ran hard and fast, like they were shiny and new. Distantly, I was aware of Dimitri catching up to me, asking me what was wrong. But I couldn't answer him. I had one task and one alone: get to the dorm.**

**Its looming, ivy-covered form was just coming into view when Lissa met up with us, her face streaked with tears. I came to a jarring stop, my lungs ready to burst.**

**"What's wrong? What happened?" I demanded, clutching her arms, forcing her to look into my eyes.**

**But she couldn't answer. She just flung her arms around me, sobbing into my chest. I held her there, stroking her sleek, silky hair while I told her it was going to be all right—whatever 'it' was. And honestly, I didn't care what it was just then. She was here, and she was safe, which was all that mattered. Dimitri hovered over us, alert and ready for any threat, his body coiled to attack. I felt safe with him beside us.**

"That bitch," Christian said, meaning Natalie, who had been the one to plant those creatures on Lissa's things, trying to force her to use Spirit to heal them.

I wasn't paying attention to what anyone else had to say, though, because I was busy looking steadily at Lissa. Her eyes found mine and there was sorrow in them.

Softly, so that only she would pay attention—well, her and Dimitri—I said "That's what I miss. Before you had time to wonder where I was, I was already there."

Suddenly, just for a moment, I saw a flash of something eerie, strange, and impossible. For a brief second, I saw myself sitting there. I felt my eyes widen in surprise, and it was gone.

"What?" Lissa asked.

"Nothing. I—nothing. Let's keep reading."

**"Rose, if you know something, tell me. We're on the same side. We both want to protect her. This is serious."**

**I spun around, taking my anger over the fox out on him. "Yeah, it is serious. It's all serious. And you have me doing laps every day when I should be learning to fight and defend her! If you want to help her, then teach me something! **_**Teach me how to fight. **_**I already know how to run away."**

**I didn't realize until that moment how badly I did want to learn, how I wanted to prove myself to him, to Lissa, and to everyone else. The fox incident had made me feel powerless, and I didn't like that. I wanted to do something, **_**anything.**_

**Dimitri watched my outburst calmly, with no change in his expression. When I finished, he simply beckoned me forward like I hadn't said anything. "Come on. You're late for practice."**

"I was at a breaking point." I said, barely taking in the fact that I had spoken aloud.

"You didn't break," Dimitri pointed out.

"Yeah, well good for me." I said. I couldn't help it. I wanted everyone in this room to feel just as bad as me.

Sonya looked closely at me. "Are you feeling alright, Rose?"

"Yeah, fine. Why?"

I watched her eyes flicker to Adrian, who looked at me and then hesitantly back at her. I looked at Lissa, who was talking to Jill about her grades and schoolwork.

The three of us and Dimitri stood and went to a corner, out of hearing of the rest of the group.

"What is it?" I asked softly.

"Your aura is darker than normal." Adrian said.

"Yeah, I'm not normally this irritated." I responded.

"Why are you angry, Rose?" Sonya asked.

"I said irritated, not angry."

"You may not have said it, but your aura does."

"She had an argument with Lissa last night, followed by nightmares." Dimitri said.

I glared at him. Bad enough my past secrets were all about to be outed, did he really have to spill the current ones too?

"Ahh." Sonya said. "Understandable then. I'm sure it will clear up soon."

And with that, she and Dimitri joined everyone else.

I stayed behind because I felt like taking as much time to myself as I could, but Adrian spoiled it.

"Are you alright Rose?"

I looked at him and sighed. "No, not really. Lissa thought I'd be happier without the bond and she doesn't understand why I'm not. When I tried to explain it, she—she said she only wants me as her Guardian."

"Oh, Rose. You know she didn't mean that."

"I know. But she still doesn't see that not having the bond is killing me."

"Not many people would see that, you know."

"But you do?" I asked wryly.

He grinned. "Of course. And you know," he hesitated. "You know Jill is there for you, right? She would understand."

Frustrated, I threw my arms up. "I can't drag her into my problems, Adrian. She's already stuck in your head, how can I ask her to take on my problems too? Besides, she hates me."

"She doesn't hate you."

I raised my eyebrows.

"Okay, maybe she resents you, but that's just residual Adrian thinking. Jill herself loves you, Rose."

"Still doesn't solve the other half."

He sighed. "I suppose you're right. I just want you to be okay."

I smiled slightly. "Thanks, Adrian. So far you're the only person who sees that I'm not."

"Well, if you would open yourself up a little. Geez, you're dating a _God_."

I smacked him, and he reached over to brush a few stray strands of hair from my face.

"You'll be okay, Little Dhampir."


	9. Chapter 9

I stood in my corner for a while longer, watching the most important people of my life interact. Surprisingly, Mia and Sydney were getting along wonderfully. It had taken Sydney weeks and some near-death experiences with me for her to admit that she even almost liked me, and I was only half-monster. Maybe it was because Mia was more like her than I was. Or maybe she was just like everyone else in my life; no one that met me after the age of eight had liked me right away.

Most authority figures never ended up liking me. Tara wasn't the only person who had an issue with my having such a high rank in the Guardian food chain. I wasn't head of all Guardians or anything like that; I was just head of Lissa's personal security. I still had little say in Guardian affairs, and even I had to admit that that was probably for the best.

Hans was going to be retiring soon, and word around the office was that they were looking very closely at Mom for filling his position. I could see why, and it would be great to have her so close, but honestly I doubted she would go for it. She was very attached to her charge and had been with him since she had been eighteen. She had actually been his wife's guardian, but Beatrice had died young. When his wife had passed, Lord Szeltsky had requested that Mom remain with him and his children. Though he remarried a few years later, Mom still considered him her charge instead of his latest wife.

Sighing, I went back to my seat to continue the reading. Mom offered to take over, but I shook my head. If someone else read, my mind would only wander.

**Chapter Eight**

BURNING WITH ANGER, I FOUGHT harder and better that day than I ever had in any of my classes with the novices. So much so that I finally won my first hand-to-hand pairing, annihilating Shane Reyes. We'd always gotten along, and he took it good-naturedly, applauding my performance, as did a few others.

"It's a sad day when you're proud of beating up Shane," Eddie remarked, making me laugh.

"Yeah, well I _had_ skipped two years at that point," I reminded him.

Momentarily forgetting Lissa, I focused my full attention on Jesse. Suddenly, I so needed to do something wild and bad. Too much had happened today. "Sure."

He told me when he'd be there, and I told him I'd meet him in one of the common areas with "further instructions."

Lissa stared at me when he left. "You're under house arrest. They won't let you hang out and talk to him."

"I don't really want to 'talk' to him. We'll slip away."

"Really?" Adrian asked, looking doubtful. "It takes me months, a few thousand dollars and a written essay to get you to date me, and you let _that_ guy have at it because you were feeling rebellious?"

I glared. "By the time you came along, I had learned my lesson about letting royal jackasses do whatever they wanted."

He sighed and shook his head sadly. "Of course you had. Just my luck."

"If it makes you feel any better, he totally screwed up my social life."

He grinned as he held up his hand and put his thumb and forefinger next to one another. "Little bit."

I laughed again and shook my head at him as I continued reading.

He cocked his head in an overly dramatic fashion. "Hey, I just got it: it was you, wasn't it?" He looked at Lissa, the back at me. "She got _you _to kill the fox, didn't she? Some weird kind of lesbian voo—ahhh!"

Ralf burst into flames.

I jumped up and pushed Lissa out of the way—not easy to do, since we were sitting at our desks. We both ended up on the floor as screams—Ralf's in particular—filled the classroom and Ms. Meissner sprinted for the fire extinguisher.

And then, just like that, the flames disappeared. Ralf was still screaming and patting himself down, but he didn't have a single singe mark on him. The only indication of what had happened was the lingering smell of smoke in the air.

For several seconds, the entire classroom froze. Then, slowly, everyone put the pieces together. Moroi magical specializations were well known, and after scanning the room, I deduced three fire users: Ralf, his friend Jacob, and—

"Christian Ozera," Lissa, Mia, Eddie and Christian intoned along with me. Jill's eyes were wide as she stared at him, and Sydney just looked uncomfortable.

"You set someone on fire?" Jill asked in that hero-worship voice that was reserved for him and Adrian.

Christian looked around the room haughtily. "Of course I did. Couldn't have someone talking shit about my girl."

"She wasn't your girl," I reminded him dryly. "As a matter of fact, if memory serves, she had no business around you at all."

Lissa rolled her eyes at me. "Rose, you couldn't order me around then any more than you can now. Just because you spoke the words wasn't reason for me to worship and obey them."

The room fell silent. Lissa got frustrated at times, and anger would sometimes come out, but she was _never_ snarky.

"Has nothing to do with what I said." I replied flippantly. "As book-me just reminded you, you had no business around him because you were the first person to really pay attention to him in god knows how long, and to repay the kindness, he _set someone on fire_."

"Hey!" Christian answered indignantly. "I thought the days of 'Christian is an unholy monster, stay far, far away' were long gone."

"Well, thank the author of these dumb books for making me remember who I hated and the great reasons why." I answered. He responded by reaching over and knocking the donut I had been about to bite down on out of my hand.

When I sent my murderous look his way, he sweetly responded with "Aren't you glad I didn't set you on fire?"

I punched him in the arm. Hard.

"Aren't you glad that wasn't your face?" I asked, mimicking his tone.

"Children!" Mom barked. Chagrinned, we stopped our bickering.

"Thank God you were my only child, Rosemary." She said, rubbing her head. "Otherwise, I have a feeling my life would have been much, much harder."

I grinned. "I like it better this way, too. Nobody to share the love with."

At her warning look, I lowered my head to continue reading.

But later, after school, I had my doubts. I was in my room doing homework when I felt a trickle of what could only be called sneakiness coming from Lissa. Losing track of my work, I stared off into space, trying to get a more detailed understanding of what was happening to her. If ever there was a time for me to slip into her mind, it was now, but I didn't know how to control that.

Frowning, I tried to think what normally made that connection occur. Usually she was experiencing some strong emotion, an emotion so powerful it tried to blast into my mind. I had to work hard to fight against that; I always sort of kept a mental wall up.

Focusing on her now, I tried to remove the wall. I steadied my breathing and cleared my mind. My thoughts didn't matter, only hers did. I needed to open myself to her and let us connect.

I'd never done anything like this before; I didn't have the patience for meditation. My need was so strong, however, that I forced myself into an intense, focused relaxation. I needed to know what was going on with her, and after a few more moments, my effort paid off.

I was in.

I looked up, but more to stare off into space for a moment than for conversation. The first time I had encouraged the bond to show me Lissa's mind. It had seemed like such a momentous thing at the time, but really, it had been small.

Slowly, I came back to what was going on around me.

"could manage the wall like you did." Jill was saying. I guessed the first part of the sentence.

"You're learning, though, right?" I asked her. "It takes some time, and actually, it took me the better part of two years to get the hang of it."

She sighed. "Yeah, I'm learning, I just wish it would go faster."

"We'll work on it while you're here," I promised, and was glad to see her face brighten at the idea.

"And _we'll_ work on your water magic," Mia offered. That got an excited little squeal and clap.

"Oh, that reminds me," Lissa said. "I have good news. Well, sort of." We looked at her expectantly.

"I've been talking with those on the council that I think can be swayed. We're having a vote in two weeks, but right now it looks like we should have the votes to change the law. You might not have to leave this time."

Relief and joy shone in Jill's eyes, and she jumped up and rushed into Lissa's arms. Taken aback, it took Lissa a moment to return the hug. But when her arms went around Jill, they tightened fiercely.

"I want you right here, with me." She said softly. I heard a soft intake of breath next to me and looked over to see Sydney gazing longingly at the sisters. I didn't know much about her family life, but from the few things she had spoken about them, I gathered that beside her mother she wasn't really close to them.

I noticed that Adrian was looking at Sydney too. His demeanor showed not only a reflection of the compassion I felt, but something I couldn't quite place. I quickly turned my attention to Eddie. "No more wild troublemaking stunts from you it seems, since you'll be back here where I can keep my eye on you."

He grinned. "Funny, I was going to say the same to you."

"Hey, _I_ never ran a car into the gate of a top security prison."

"And I wasn't the one who came up with the plan to break into the prison, therefore requiring a crash into the gate to get back out."

"Dammit. I knew you were going to bring that up."

"Not my fault you have way too many shenanigans to remind you of."

"Shenanigans?" I asked pointedly.

"Well, I didn't want to be rude and call you a criminal to your face."

"The queen pardoned her for all her past crimes." Christian said seriously.

Eddie looked at me. "Seriously?"

"Well, kind of." I said.

Christian explained. "Once Liss was coronated, she took Rose to the bedroom, with Dimitri and I as witnesses, and told her 'As Queen, I, Vasilisa Sabina Rhea Dragomir, as witnessed by those present, pardon you of all crimes committed against Moroi law and hereby declare your record shiny and new.'"

Mia gave him a doubtful look. "She said 'shiny and new?'"

"Yes, she did. Well, she did in law speak. But shiny and new just sounds so eloquent, don't you think?"

She shook her head, then thought of a question. "Why didn't you do that in front of the council or whatever?"

Dimitri gave me a grin as he told her "Because the crimes had to be named in order to pardon them, and if the council knew all her crimes she would have been hanged, royal pardon or no."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Hanged? What have I said about reading those cowboy novels?"

"And what have I told you of speaking the first words that enter your mind?" he retorted. I shut up.


End file.
